It hasn't forgotten me

Yesterday I played online poker for the first time in a couple of years, I think. Just an easy $15 single-table sit-and-go.

This is what happened:

Stubborn

Here's the stubbornest razz player on the planet:

A reminder: Deuce-Four always wins...

...even when it's the worst possible hand! 

Pottymouth

Notice the chat from just-knocked-out player handycrab11.

Here's the bad beat I put on him that got him riled: 

Yeah, I reported him. Hope he gets chat-banned. Poker doesn't need stuff like that. 

Deuce-Four rides again!

From the same tournament as the previous post:

Finished up in third place, $76.

Strangest hand in the history of razz

This is from a HORSE tournament on Carbon Poker that I'm still in as I post this. So no time for analysis and discussion. I'll just post this hand history and let y'all ponder the weirdness of it.

Deuce-Four update

It's been quite a while since I wrote about the Mighty Deuce-Four, so I thought I'd tell you that it's still working. I just played this hand in a HORSE tournament:

Of course I made a flush. And of course it beat the other guy's straight.

LDO.

Winner

The epic last hand:

I could've had...

...a royal flush.

But I folded.

Something went wrong

I played an online tournament today for the first time in about 18 months.

The first time I was dealt The Mighty Deuce-Four, I called a pre-flop raise. We saw this excellent flop:

The only question here is whether the turn will be an ace for a 5-high straight, or a 6 for a 6-high straight. Right?

So Player 72 bets more than I have. I call all-in. Obviously.

And the turn was an ace. Of course. Got this hand locked up tight as a drum.

Until something went terribly, terribly wrong.

I'm reeling. I don't understand how something like this can happen.

Daniel Negreanu, on the online poker ecosystem

"You guys don't even want to know what I would do to the VIP programs if I was in charge! I would focus on giving bonuses to the LOSING players exclusively. They'd play more, last longer, and the pros would get the money in the end anyway. I think it's overkill to not only have pros crushing all the rec players, but then also giving them the majority of the bonuses on top of that?" 

Whole thing here. 

Refund!

I was just casually checking the status of my bank accounts, as I do every few days, when I noticed this unexpected deposit apparently in the process of going through today:

And it only took 38 months!

Additional notes on yesterday's online play

I forgot to mention three important things that happened yesterday, while Josie and I were playing one sit-and-go and one regular tournament:

1. Josie got knocked out of the big tournament when she ran into my pocket kings.

2. Josie got knocked out of the SNG when with J-8 she tried to steal my big blind, and I had A-A.

3. Josie called me a whore.

Apparently the Deuce-Four works in North Carolina, too

Yesterday I played one SNG and one regular tournament on Black Chip Poker--my first time using the site since I moved. This happened:

He bet the flop, I raised him all in, and he called.

I didn't cash, but that was my own fault, not the Deuce-Four.

Cashing out of Juicy Stakes, part 1

In January, when I knew I was going to be moving to North Carolina, I checked all of my online poker accounts to be sure I knew how to get into them, find out how much money I had left, get the software updated, etc. I wanted it all to be ship-shape before I had to start getting all my contact information changed. I wrote a blog post about this, here.

Here's what I said about one of them:

Cake/Juicy Stakes 

The Cake Poker network sort of merged with Lock Poker and became the Revolution Gaming Network last year. I had had a dormant account on Cake for a few years, and threw $100 onto it last summer to try out the new entity. I played one SNG and then never went back--not so much because it was terrible, but because I was concentrating all of my online play on BCP for a while.

Since then, Cake stopped doing business with U.S. players, and transferred their accounts over to a skin called Juicy Stakes Poker. See here for details. (Why doesn't anybody consult me on these names they pick? I could tell them how awful they are in advance and save them the embarrassment.)

I downloaded the new software, and my previous Cake log-in worked without a problem the first time, and my account was at $95, where it should have been. I played a $5 SNG to test things out, busted early.

Today somebody (I think it was KevMath) tweeted something about a new twist in the ongoing problems that Lock Poker is having with players getting their money out, pointing to this news story: http://pokerfuse.com/news/poker-room-news/lock-poker-allegedly-offers-expedited-cashouts-to-high-volume-player-25-09/ That story contained a link to this site which publishes monthly grades on how well the sites do at processing withdrawal requests. I had not heard of it before.

I checked it, and saw that Juicy Stakes was getting F ratings just like Lock was. Ruh-roh. So I decided to see if I could get my remaining $90 out of there before the whole thing implodes.

When I went to request a withdrawal, however, the cashier page informed me that the only withdrawal option was a check (fine; that's my preferred method anyway), but (1) the minimum amount that could be withdrawn by check was $150, and (2) no, you can't deposit more just to get to $150 and then withdraw it.

So I wrote to customer service:

I would like to cash out my account, balance is $90.80. When I went to the cashier, the only option it offered me was check, which is fine. However, it then said that I don't have the minimum to use this method of withdrawal, yet it gave me no other alternative. So, how do I get my money out? 

Thank you.

The answer came admirably quickly, within just a few minutes:

Thank you for your email.  

 I'm afraid at present the only cashout option for US players is via check which has a minimum cashout of $150. (Please note that players are not permitted to deposit with the intent to reach $150 and cashout). We apologize for the hassle caused by the cashout limit but do hope to add new cashout options in the near future. Please let us know if you require any further assistance.  

 Kind Regards,  

 Jack  

 JuicyStakes Support 

Well, now, that simply won't do. When I made the deposit at Cake, there was no forewarning that I was depositing less than the minimal amount I would ever be able to cash out, so that I would have to win another $50 or kiss the deposit good-bye.

 I replied:

That makes no sense. You accepted a deposit of $100, with no warning given to me that the only way I would be able to retrieve that sum would be to win enough to push it up to $150. You need to provide another answer than the one below. It is not acceptable that I cannot get my money off of your site. 

 Again the response came very quickly:

Thank you for your email.  

If you wish to cashout your entire balance we can have the Cashier make an exception in this case. We understand the situation is far from ideal but these limitations have been forced upon us with the lask [sic] of cashout options available within the US.  

Can you please provide us with the following to activate your account for check cashouts ?  

Please scan or take clear digital photos of the following and send as color JPEG attachments in reply to this email: Required information: 

 - The front and back of the payment card used to deposit with us (for security purposes you may obscure the middle 8 digits and 3-digit CVV code as applicable).
 - A recent Utility Bill or Bank Statement, showing your name and mailing address as registered on your account (for purposes of privacy you may obscure account numbers, balances, etc...)
 - A government-issued photo ID (passport, Driver's License) in color
 Upon successful review of the above we will be able to proceed with a cash out. 

Another quick exchange told me the last four digits of the card used, since I didn't have that recorded anywhere. This presented another problem, however. The card I used was a Visa debit card tied to the checking account at the bank I used in Las Vegas. But that bank has no branches in North Carolina, so I closed that account soon after I got established with an Asheville bank. The card no longer exists.

Fortunately, I keep good records of my online poker transactions, so I was able to easily find the date on which I made the Cake deposit. Then, because I also kind of obsessively keep papers, including bank statements, after a few minutes of shuffling through file folders I was able to find the monthly statement on which the transaction appeared. I scanned that page along with the other documents requested. In my email, I explained the change of banks, and pointed out which item was the Cake deposit, complete with transaction number.

Frankly, I thought they would use this slight irregularity as an excuse to deny my withdrawal request, and I was mentally composing the jeremiad I would unleash on them. I was pleasantly surprised when, within an hour, I was told:

Thank you for your email. Now that we have verified the personal information on your account, I have approved your account's ability to cash out via check. You can now request a check from your Cashier screen. Please check that your address and phone number are up to date before requesting a cashout. You may need to restart your client to allow the changes made to take full effect. Please let us know if you require any further assistance. 

So despite Juicy Stakes Poker's "F" rating, I'd say so far they're doing all right by me. Yeah, I wish I could have just clicked "withdraw" and be done in one minute without the back-and-forth with customer service, but they turned out to be pretty reasonable in working with me.

Of course, important questions remain: Will there be some huge fee to withdraw? Will they actually send the check? If so, how long will it take? And will it clear when I deposit it? We shall see.



Bonus material: Gratuitous cat photo

I snapped this shot of Lucy a few days ago, while she was looking extra-cute, with her little paddy paw up on the window. Understand that by definition, any photo of Lucy is a good photo. But even given that reality, this is one of my favorites of her. Unless she's sleeping, she doesn't often hold still in good light long enough to catch her face well. So this shot is one of the few I have that really nicely shows her lovely green eyes, with direct afternoon sun highlighting her pretty orange stripes and patches. There is no need to enter her in cat shows, because it is already plain that she is the most beautifullest cat there ever was. It really wouldn't be fair to all the other entrants.

Ray Bitar's lament

The news today is that former Full Tilt Poker CEO Ray Bitar is in need of a heart transplant. I couldn't help but be reminded of a famous song from an equally famous movie....

When a man’s under indictment

There should be some excitement

And yet I’m torn apart

Just because I’m a-pleadin’

That I coulda had my freedom,

If I only had a heart.

I’d be happy, I’d be mellow,

I’d be really quite a fellow

With such a new restart.

I’d make up with all the payors,

Reimburse all the players,

If I only had a heart.

I’d reclaim the CEO spot

Refurbish the old yacht

And this time play it smart.

I’d suck up to Howard’s allies

Fill the board up with our own guys

If I only had a heart.

(Image from here.) 

Deuce-Four strikes again

When I woke up too early this morning, unable to go back to sleep, jumping into an online poker tournament for the first time since I arrived in North Carolina somehow seemed like a good idea. I found a $5 one on Bovada that had just started.

Though I went out in about the middle of the field, I was dealt the Mighty Deuce-Four three times, and won all three hands. I consider this a sign from the poker gods, welcoming me back to the game.

1:

With blinds at 50/100, I raised from UTG+1 to 250. He reraised to 400. I called. On the flop he bet 200, I called. Turn and river were checked down.

2. 

I raised pre, had one caller. Continuation bet on the flop took it down. Obviously I had the best hand, or he would have called, right?

3. 

This one was the most fun.

(Bovada has this silly feature that it shows the winning cards on fire if you make a flush or full house, and shows them "electrified" for quads or better.)

Here's how it played out:

I guess I'm not moving after all

Because the apartment in North Carolina is leased to me starting at midnight (even though I won't physically be there for a while yet), I've spent the last hour or so changing my mailing address and telephone number (yes, I already have a North Carolina phone number) for all of my financial institutions, including the various online poker sites. The last one I was trying to do was PokerStars. I entered the new information in the form, and was quite surprised to get the following message:

If PokerStars is to be believed, there are "government regulations," heretofore unknown by me, that prevent me from changing my state. I find it odd that one set of regulations prevents U.S. citizens from moving from one state to another AND prevents Canadian citizens from moving from one province to another. Must be some sort of United Nations thing.

However, I suspect that PokerStars is either misinformed or lying to me. I do not believe that regulations actually exist that prevent my move. I have written to them for an explanation. If they tell me anything helpful--or amusing--I will post it here.

Online site update

In June I reviewed where I stood with respect to the handful of remaining online poker sites available to U.S. players. I noted that quite a bit had changed since I had last reviewed what's available in October, 2011. Well, a lot has changed again. I haven't played online in a few months. Last night I decided to check to make sure that I could log in and play everywhere that I have money on account. The reason for this is my upcoming move to North Carolina. In the process of moving, I will get a new address, new phone number, new email address, and new bank. So I wanted to be sure that all of the sites were working with my current info on file before I go and change everything.

Bovada 

I played on the former Bodog site just once since it made its big changeover, and I hated it. See here. Last night I played a $5 SNG, and felt the same way, even though I cashed. But at least nothing has changed, so logging in and playing was hassle-free.

Black Chip Poker/America's Cardroom 

BCP had been on the Merge network, but a few months ago migrated over to the Winning Poker Network (formerly known as Yatahay). I already had an account on a different WPN skin (America's Cardroom, which took over Doyle's Room accounts when the latter closed up shop). It took a bunch of emails back and forth with BCP's customer service and security people before they would recognize me as the actual owner of the $650 or so that I still have on account there. Apparently the problem was having that pre-existing America's Cardroom/WPN account with the same screen name as I was using on BCP. They obviously can't allow two identical screen names within the same network, so some bozo at BCP arbitrarily decided on a screen name change for me, without having bothered to inform me of this.

What they selected for me was bcp-rakewello. The doofus in charge of this process read the zero at the end of "Rakewell0" as the letter O, so made it "rakewello," then slapped a "bcp-" at the front of it. It's just awful. I pleaded with them to let me change it, but they said I couldn't. Grrrr.

I certainly don't need two accounts on the same network, so I'll close one of these after I move. (I don't want a check to get stuck in the middle of the forwarding process.) Which one? Well, that depends. I hate the new screen name so much that I'm inclined to close the BCP account. But I'll have to look closely to see if my rakeback deal is still in operation. If it is, then it will be worth keeping that, despite the screen name embarrassment, and I'll cash out the AC account. But if the rakeback arrangement didn't survive the move to the new network, then I'll cash out the BCP account and keep the nicer "Rakewell0" screen name on AC.

But in the meantime, I did manage to play a $3 SNG on BCP last night. I bubbled it, but at least I know it's all working now.

Cake/Juicy Stakes 

The Cake Poker network sort of merged with Lock Poker and became the Revolution Gaming Network last year. I had had a dormant account on Cake for a few years, and threw $100 onto it last summer to try out the new entity. I played one SNG and then never went back--not so much because it was terrible, but because I was concentrating all of my online play on BCP for a while.

Since then, Cake stopped doing business with U.S. players, and transferred their accounts over to a skin called Juicy Stakes Poker. See here for details. (Why doesn't anybody consult me on these names they pick? I could tell them how awful they are in advance and save them the embarrassment.)

I downloaded the new software, and my previous Cake log-in worked without a problem the first time, and my account was at $95, where it should have been. I played a $5 SNG to test things out, busted early.

Merge 

It just occurred to me that I no longer have any active accounts on the Merge network. I believe that Carbon Poker is still a Merge skin, so I guess I could use that, though I spent out my money there a long time ago. I'll have to check on the status of it. I'd like to have an account I can use on each of the U.S.-facing networks, even if I don't use them much. ADDENDUM: Yep, Carbon Poker recognized me as an existing player, so I didn't have to go through any security steps. I deposited $100 on my bank's Visa debit card with no difficulty, and am now registered to play a test SNG, though I don't anticipate any problems. FURTHER ADDENDUM: I finished in 2nd place. Yay me.


It will be a PITA to change everything over to the new real-world information after I move, but at least now I know that I can get in and use the money I have on those sites under my current account information, which will hopefully make the transition less of a headache than it might have been if I hadn't taken last night's steps to update and check on the status of things.


Just for a bit of fun, here's a few things that happened in my three SNGs last night:

Three-way all-in pre-flop on Bovada:

I clicked the screen capture command a bit too soon, but you can see that it didn't matter what the river card was--it was a three-way chopped pot regardless. I'm #8.


The Mighty Deuce-Four strikes again:

I called a pre-flop raise from #5, then check-raised his sorry butt on the flop you see here. He flashed pocket 10s before folding. Heh heh heh.


In the game on Juicy Stakes, I was getting short-stacked, so when I had A-5 and action folded to me, I shoved with my last 7 big blinds. I got called by the small blind, who had K-K. Oops. But then the flop came a miraculous Q-5-5! There was joy in Mudville! But then, check out the turn and river:

So sick.

Here's a hand from the new version of Black Chip Poker. My opponent there went all in on the flop with just A-K, having missed completely. I snap-called with my flopped set. Then we chopped it when the board ran out to a straight:

You all know that online poker is rigged, right?

The near future of online poker

This insightful analysis was published nearly a month ago, but it had escaped my attention until Poker Lawyer tweeted a link to it today:

http://www.fool.com/investing/general/2012/10/22/sorry-mr-online-poker-nobody-cares-about-you.aspx