This is a sensitive subject, one that I've toyed with writing about for months. On Sunday I decided to post about it, but still I put it off, because I'm not quite sure what it is I have to say about it.
But here's the question: Are there any gay professional poker players?
Well, the first problem is defining "professional poker player." There are probably many thousands of us low-level grinders squeaking by. Never mind that group. I'm really thinking about the upper crust of the poker world. Suppose we limit the field to, roughly, the group that did qualify or would have qualified for the Professional Poker Tour a couple of years ago. That field was somewhere between 150 and 200 players. That might be the most restrictive, limiting definition of poker pro that one could reasonably come up with. (They included few if any online tournament specialists, and not many cash-game specialists, so it is indeed a narrow selection.)
Statistically, it would be quite remarkable if there were not at least one gay person in a group of that size, wouldn't it? Yet I am not aware of a single name-brand player who has identified himself or herself as gay or lesbian.
Nearly every professional sport has experienced one or more players coming out of the closet. How can poker be different?
What brought this from an occasional idle passing thought to the point of deciding to post about it was Sunday's broadcast of the first installment of the NBC heads-up championship. In particular, I hadn't previously seen Tom "Durrrr" Dwan on television. During his first match with Phil Hellmuth, I was immediately struck by his speech patterns and non-verbal mannerisms. They weren't quite Jack-from-"Will-and-Grace"/Truman Capote/Harvey Fierstein flagrant--but they weren't exactly subtle, either. They were quite typical of what I've observed in many, many uncloseted gay men.
Since then, I've looked up several on-line video clips of other interviews with him, and seen the same things repeated. I've also searched his name with "gay" and found that at least several other people in various public forums have concluded or assumed that Dwan is gay, though never with any evidence specified.
I hasten to add that I have exactly zero information on Tom Dwan's personal life. I don't know if he's gay or straight or somewhere in between, and as far as I know he hasn't publicly addressed the matter. Furthermore, I honestly don't care, as far as the guy himself is concerned. As a good libertarian, I'm about as purely live-and-let-live as one can get. I'm interested only because of the rather striking (when you stop to think about it) absence of any gay high-visibility poker players, and the possibility that he might be the first to break ranks, so to speak.
Even if it's not Dwan, sooner or later, inevitably, somebody that we all recognize from televised and/or online poker events (even if it's somebody who is not currently well known) will out himself. Every time this little curiosity has occurred to me, I've wondered how this incredibly macho, sexist, swaggering, "I am the MAN" poker world will react to the news. My guess is that there will be a lot of public quoting of the famous Seinfeld line (a la the title of this post), accompanied by a lot of quiet, private, nasty bashing. You can imagine the kind of things that will be written by the scads of anonymous contributors to the poker forums--those who can't make a comment about a female professional player that doesn't involve judging her attractiveness or lack thereof. I don't envy whoever it is who takes on (voluntarily or otherwise) the role of the first openly gay poker pro. I think it will be a difficult mantle to wear.
And just in case the very writing of this post makes readers wonder--no, I'm not. Not that there's anything wrong with that....
Friday, April 18, 2008
Not that there's anything wrong with that...
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21 comments:
I think you've touched on something; maybe nobody's come out of the closet because of the "I am MAN" poker world. Imagine what some of the more aggressive guys out there would do to a gay man if he felted them (no pun intended). Talk about fodder for hate crime.
Then again, maybe a gay man could use his femininity to his advantage. My wife read the book "Bad Ass Girl's Guide to Poker", and promptly won our next home tourney by playing the "Drunk and Ditzy" character to a tee. She slaughtered the Tough Men at the table by sucking them into pot after pot, leading to believe she was too drunk to read her cards. She even said at one point, "When did we start playing Omaha? Oh, wait (hee, hee), I'm just seeing double. I raise. (hic)"
Anyway, point is that a gay man may be able to act weak and "girly" to gain an edge over more "aggressive" players.
Just a thought. Beware the guy that says, "OK, how many cardth do I need to make a thtrait?"
Try loitering around any "Ladies" event if you want to spot a few gay poker players.
I don't know when or how but it seems that poker has become the new lesbian sport. NTTAWT.
For the record: I am neither a Lesbian, Libertarian or a Prude.
There are a few closeted pros that a lot of folks in the media (myself included) don't speak about in order to protect their privacy. Poker is still a "sporting" culture and as we know well that professional sports in America does not welcome homosexuals with open arms.
Interesting point. As a gay man and decent recreational poker player, I have to agree that I really don't see many openly gay players at the tables even at the low level games. I think there is a lot of merit to the idea that gay men are less into team sports or competitive events populated predominantly by stereotypical "macho men". Whether this personality trait is the result of nature, nurture, or both is still being researched. So, there is likely some self-selection by gay men that keeps their percentage involvement in team sports and poker below their percentage representation in the general population.
That all being said, gay men (like women) who do choose to play poker have to be willing to deal with offensive (or merely lame) jokes, anti-gay attitudes, and inappropriate language. I personally can ignore that BS, but it probably contributes to many gays not pursuing poker on a long-term basis. Also, keeping closeted at the table helps the rare gay player avoid dealing with the Neanderthals who will inevitably make an issue out of his sexuality. I'm completely out, but even I don't make my sexuality known at the poker table unless directly asked. Why invite unnecessary hassle over something irrelevant to the game?
If any openly gay poker player does make it to the elite pro level, my bet is that he comes from an online background where the anonymity of the internet makes his sexuality irrelevant (much as we are seeing an influx of talented young women players who cut their poker teeth online).
I'm sure there are plenty of professional poker players who are also gay. There's also a gay poker league.
www.gaypokertour.net
So, I guess what you're saying
is that you're gay curious...
I'm a gay recreational poker player. I'm trying to ramp up my play to maybe someday play professionally. Who knows, with a little work that first out player will be me! Daydreaming, I can see myself laying a big kiss on my hubby after taking down a final table. I think somebody has to break that barrier eventually and it probably won't be a huge deal. More like an open secret in the poker world. In my victory scenario described above, I can see ESPN or WPT editing that out of the show just so they don't have to comment to their straight male audience.
Also, you deserve props for dealing with this with sensitivity and maturity.
tom dwan is as gay as it gets, listen to him talk
Vanessa Selbst is certainly out. Jan Fisher is not out but I'd bet money on her orientation; same with Liebert.
As a gay man and decent recreational player, I can't decide whether I think Tom Dwan is gay because of his mannerisms and speech or whether its wishful thinking on my part [cause he IS awfully fetching]. Maybe its both.
Negreanu also always struck me as a sister --- and I hate to say it but the brief marriage to an Asian lady only reinforced my impression.
i think dwan is gay , because of his mannerisms and speech as you all said....and he is living together with another poker player , david benefield , who's mannersisms and speech is gay too ...
I found this blog because I was watching Tom Dwan on Hulu.com and I googled to see if he was gay. As a gay man with a good gay-dar, I sure think he is. =)
Strange, Dwan never struck me as gay, just strange-looking, pale and awkward. Interesting that one gay Anon found him attractive. I think he just has a nasal voice and a slightly affected style of speech, but it strikes me more as Jersey slacker than Boystown blade.
As for homosexual players, I was gonna mention Selbst, but someone already did. I'd guess on a few other women, but they're not out, at least not to the online public, so it's not really my place. I wonder about some of the men in the top ranks, but not many, and Negreanu isn't really one of them. There one where I can't help myself, though: Chad Brown?
Anyway, Grump, I'm digging your blog, as you've no doubt deduced from my comments going further and further back in yer archive. I like when you write about actual play, and hope you can do more of that. But thanks for the Tommy Angelo gems, too. He reminds me a bit of some of that Larry Phillips stuff, which is very good, despite the off-putting, tired "Tao" and "Zen" titles.
What about Allen Cunningham...he seems the gayest of them all
Soooo funny....Ive watched Dwan in a few tourneys and dude come on. Im watchin poker after dark and had the laptop in front of me so I googled Gay Dwan and hit after hit. But its not the Gayness that gets to me, its that dumb ass, stupid poker face he has where he looks like hes about to drool over, well, just use this blog and your imagination. I swear if I ever caught myself at a table, in a pot with him, and he gives that look.....Im throwin something.
Oh, and no way is Danny Gay....really? If so, oh well, hes just unearthly at the table
someone posted that dwan lives with david benefield. david benefield's myspace page states that his orientation is gay. so perhaps dwan picks up david benefield's mannerisms from his roomate or perhaps he is also gay. either way who cares. i think he's a great player.
In one episode of Poker After Dark he made a comment about how he and his friend was waiting for their horses to be delivered so they can go horseback riding together. This is after I've suspected all along that he was gay. So my conclusion is yes, Dwan is gay.
Actually, I think Tom Dwan is really hot...and come on now,setting aside wishful thinking on my part,the whole "Is he gay question" is clearly duhhhhhh without any doubt..
Gay or not, some of you need to check your facts out before you post. The David Benefield myspace page that was referenced in a previous comment isn't even Tom Dwan's old roommate, it's some random gay 31 year old guy that lives in Houston, TX. His real previous roommate is 24 and lives where Dwan lives, in Las Vegas. Anyways Dwan came dangerously close to winning his first WSOP bracelet in the $1,500 NL Hold 'Em Event #11. He's already a very established high stakes cash player, and I fear he's been sharpening his tournament skills as well. Regardless of his sexual orientation, we may have a rising poker giant on our hands.
Tom Dwan reminds me of Eminem with dark hair. I really don't know why.
I don't think Dwan's gay..but he is mad hot ^_^;
Why those who can't stop talking about the sexuality of other man don't realize that they are gay??? it is obvious that those who keep repeating that XXX is gay have some problem...
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