Poker gems, #78

Stu Ungar, as quoted in Graham Sharpe, Poker's Strangest Hands, p. 149:

No one has ever beaten me playing cards. I have only beaten myself.

Poker gems, #77

Ian Fleming (creator of James Bond), in the 1957 introduction to the British edition of Herbert Yardley's classic book, The Education of a Poker Player, as quoted in Graham Sharpe, Poker's Strangest Hands:

I am not a good poker player. Poker is a cold-hearted, deadly game that breaks and bankrupts men.

Poker gems, #76

Amarillo Slim Preston, as quoted in Graham Sharpe, Poker's Strangest Hands, p. 129:


I played with Nixon before Watergate at a private club in Washington, and he wasn't as tricky as advertised.

Poker gems, #75

Dwight D. Eisenhower, on the difficulty of deliberately losing to a bad player, as quoted in Graham Sharpe, Poker's Strangest Hands, p. 113. Eisenhower had won most of a fellow officer's life savings, felt badly about it, and surreptitiously tried to let the man win his money back:

This was not easily achieved. One of the hardest things known to man is to make a fellow win in poker who plays as if bent on losing every nickel.

Poker gems, #74

From Graham Sharpe, Poker's Strangest Hands, p. 93-94:

When the spectacularly bad gambler Chico [Marx] was asked just how much he had squandered in this way [at poker] he replied, "Ask Harpo how much he's made, and that's how much I've lost." He wasn't kidding--he once had to write a four-figure cheque to Heywood Broun to settle a poker debt. He warned the recipient not to cash it before noon next day.

Broun later sought Chico out to complain that the cheque had bounced.

"What time did you try to cash it?"

"12:05 p.m."

"Too late."

Poker gems, #72

Good advice never goes out of style. This gem comes from William J. Florence (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_J._Florence), who in addition to his acting acclaim wrote one of the first books on how to play poker: The Gentleman's Handbook on Poker, 1890. The following excerpt is as quoted in Graham Sharpe, Poker's Strangest Hands, p. 51.

The strong point in poker is never to lose your temper, either with those you are playing with or more particularly with the cards. There is no sympathy at poker. Always keep cool. If you lose your head you will lose all your chips. Poker being as much a criterion of character as anything else, keep in the shade your personalities.

Poker gems, #71

Graham Sharpe, in Poker's Strangest Hands, pp. 38-39. The story involves Wild Bill Hickok and a frequent opponent identified only as "McDonald."


They sat down again in a no-limit, one-on-one game, drinking as they played. Midnight came and the game was still going strong. Bill had picked up what he thought was a winning hand and was betting accordingly.

Finally, McDonald showed his hand--three jacks.

"I have a full house--three aces and a pair of sixes," declared Bill, throwing his cards face down on the table.

McDonald lifted them one by one. "I see only two aces and one six."

Bill whipped out his six-shooter, saying, "Here's my other six." Then he produced a knife--"And here's my one-spot."

McDonald knew when he was beaten and conceded the pot.

[Grump's editorial note: This kind of conduct is now frowned upon in most of the better Las Vegas casinos.]

Poker gems, #51

From Graham Sharpe, Poker's Strangest Hands, p. 20-21, a story from 1860 Denver, reminding us of the possible consequences of deliberating miscalling one's hand:

[Jack] O'Neil and [John] Rooker went toe to toe with each other on the green baize table and eventually they were contesting the biggest pot of the night when O'Neil called Rooker's final bet and the ruffian declared, "Two pairs of pictures."

"Three jacks," called O'Neil, and made to take the money.

"Hold it," demanded Rooker. "Both my pairs are kings."

O'Neil made a lunge for Rooker's arm. "You did not call right. The money is mine."

The money was forgotten as the two traded insults and threats....

O'Neil had gone home to bed after the row, and rose at 10 a.m. He strolled up the town's main thoroughfare and, as he reached the entrance to the Western Saloon, he was blasted with both barrels of a shotgun, fired from a safe distance by the cowardly Rooker, who immediately fled town.

O'Neil was buried the next day in a small graveyard which became known as "O'Neil's Ranch," a term that would become used to identify graveyards in other towns.

Poker gems, #47

John Blackridge, writing in 1879, as quoted in Graham Sharpe's book, Poker's Strangest Hands:

Poor players usually increase their bets when losing, on the principle that bad play and bad luck united will win. A slight degree of intoxication aids to perfect this intellectual deduction.