Qualifying for the seat

Sunday evening I was playing at Treasure Island, in my favorite seat--#1.* When a new dealer came into the box, I noticed that he slowed down a bit in his pitch for seats 1 and 2. I thought I knew why (this isn't my first rodeo), so I made a point of being even more conspicuous than usual in keeping my hands well away from his pitching zone.

You see, one of the most frequent causes of cards being accidentally exposed during the deal is players getting their hands in the way of the arriving cards. This problem is particularly acute with the player in Seat 1. Most players there, after one or both cards arrive, just can't wait to get their grubby little paws on them to see what goodies Santa has delivered. But because of the geometrical arrangements of the spots around the table, the dealer needs that exact airspace for pitching the cards to Seat 2. Sadly, this conflict of interests commonly sets up an all-too-predictable physical collision between the hands of the guy in Seat 1 and the cards that are being sent to Seat 2.

Dealers seeking to avoid the problem tend to slow down at this corner, anticipating the potential encroachment. There's just a fraction of a second hesitation while he watches to see if he's going to have to loft the cards over Seat 1's hands, or go around them with a backhand delivery, or if he's going to be in the clear. The problem is analogous to a child who rushes into the street almost invisibly from between parked cars, chasing after a stray ball. Drivers who are careful and alert slow down on congested residential roads as a precaution.

There's a similar problem with Seats 9 and 10 (I'm assuming a ten-handed table here), though it's less acute, because Seat 9 gets his cards first almost every time around. That tends to eliminate the dynamic problem of Seat 10's hand shooting from out of nowhere to check his cards. But there is still the static problem, if he doesn't realize that he needs to clear the pitching zone for the dealer and keeps his hands on the table.

I'm well aware of this, so when I'm in either of the chairs next to the dealer, I not only keep my hands completely out of the danger zone, but I try to be sufficient obvious about what I'm doing that the dealer will silently get the message that I can be trusted not to interfere. In short, I pride myself on being a Good Citizen of Seats One and Ten.

Back to TI. After a few hands had played out, I noticed that the dealer had reacted and adjusted to my silent coast-is-clear message. He no longer slowed down around the corner, but slung the cards as fast as he could, demonstrating his confidence that I knew my job as an occupant of the danger spot.

I appreciated his perceptiveness and felt rewarded for my good behavior. I smiled and said to him, "You've figured out that I'm not going to get in your way, haven't you?" He said, "Yes, and I really appreciate it. Most people don't understand how much it slows me down if I have to watch out for them."

We were a team, he and I. He was an Cy Young-eligible pitcher, and all I had to do was stay the heck out of his way.

I thought of an analogy, and shared it with my new partner: "You know how on airlines, in order to sit in the emergency exit rows, you have to agree that you understand how the door works, and that you're physically capable of performing that task? Well, I think they should have a similar thing before you're allowed to sit in Seats 1 or 10. You have to watch a little video on the importance of keeping your hands out of the dealer's way until all the cards are out. Maybe you could get a little card showing your successful completion of the course, like the Red Cross does after you learn CPR."

He agreed that that was a stupendous idea.

Now, which Vegas poker room will be the first to implement it? I'd like to attend the class and be the first poker player to be officially certified to sit anywhere at the table that's open--especially in my favorite two seats next to the dealer.

*If you're curious as to why I like the seats that most players try to avoid, I explained my reasons in detail here.