Saturday, January 29, 2011

PokerStars screw-up

When I received notification from PokerStars that I had been given an entry into the World Blogger Championship of Online Poker (WBCOOP) series of tournaments, I went to the WBCOOP web page, found the schedule of events, and entered an Outlook reminder to myself for each of them.

Here's the schedule, which you can still see here:



Note that today's event was supposed to begin at 19:00 EST, which is 4:00 p.m. PST.

Each of the preceding events had been just dismally disastrous for me, so today's final preliminary event was my last chance to win a spot in tomorrow's main event. In order to be sure not to miss it, I opened the Stars client two hours early, at 2:00 pm. I was puzzled to find that the tournament ticket was not showing up.

With the help of some Twitter friends, I discovered that the tournament had actually started at 15:00 ET, noon my time, as shown in the tournament lobby:




I was too late to register. I can't win a spot in the main event tomorrow.

It is probably true that if I had looked closely at each tournament ticket, I could have compared the details it listed with the published tournament schedule and noticed the discrepancy. After all, a few hundred other people apparently managed to figure out the right time. But I had checked the schedule well in advance, and had no reason to even consider that it might have changed. Why would it?

I also could have rechecked the schedule on the web page. But if I had, I would still have missed it, because after they changed the starting time of the tournament, they didn't bother to change the published schedule. The screen shot of the web page above, showing the originally scheduled time, was taken this afternoon, after I discovered that I had been shut out.

I realize that this whole thing is a freebie, and there's something uncouth about complaining that a gift isn't good enough. But dammit, this stuff isn't difficult. If you publish a schedule, people have a right to expect that you'll either stick to it or provide prominent notice of the change. PokerStars certainly knows my email address, but they did not bother to send all of us a message about the change.

Of course, it's possible that it was never changed, and that the web page simply had a typo on it from the beginning. Either way, though, it's shamefully sloppy and unprofessional. This episode has done nothing to brighten the already sour mood I've been in all week.

I fired off this email to Stars support:

I had a ticket to today's WBCOOP qualifying tournament. According to your
own web site, it was to be at 19:00 Eastern time, 7:00 pm. I logged on a short
time ago--nearly two hours in advance--and found the ticket was gone. After
probing around for a while, I discovered that the tournament was already in
progress (tournament #339187696), having started not at 7:00, but at 3:00.

Your web site still lists the starting time as 7:00, which is what I was
relying on. See here:
http://www.pokerstars.com/blog_tournament/

When did you change the starting time? WHY did you change it? Why
didn't you update the web page with the new time? Why didn't you email those to
whom you had given tournament tickets to notify them of the change?

If I get a reply of any substance, i.e., that's more than a bedbug letter, I'll let you know.


Update

Here's the response:

Thank you for your email.

We are truly sorry if this situation has caused you any discomfort.

To make up for it, we have credited your account with a Weekly Round 2
ticket an additional 300 FPPs in your account.

If you have any questions feel free to email us at anytime.

Regards,
Michael G
PokerStars Support Team

Harumph. It's a non-apology apology. They're not sorry that they screwed up--in fact, they're not even owning up to having made a mistake. They're only sorry if I experienced any "discomfort." It is so rare and refreshing when somebody at a big organization says, "Yeah, we made a mistake, and we're really sorry about it." I guess that's too much to expect from PokerStars. You'll notice also that there is no explanation, no answer to my questions about when the change was made, why it was made, and why they didn't send a courtesy email about it.

I'm grateful for the compensatory gesture, but I'm still left irked about several aspects of the whole thing.

Guess the casino, #767






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: Riviera

Friday, January 28, 2011

Guess the casino, #766






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: O'Shea's

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Ed Miller




I played at the Venetian yesterday afternoon. My first table was all deadly serious players trying hard to win--hard place to make money. I noticed that the next one over was much more jovial, so when a seat opened up I got permission to move.

I realized that one player looked familiar, but it took me a few minutes to figure out why. He looked like Ed Miller, columnist for Card Player magazine and Sklansky's co-author on No Limit Hold'em Theory and Practice. I wasn't sure it was him at first, so snapped the above picture and asked Twitter for opinions. Nobody responded, but over time conversation made clear that I was right. I may have impressed him (in a strange way) by being the only one at the table who knew that he had once been on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."

I wish I had some great story to tell--me making a phenomenal play against him, or us forming a lifelong friendship, or discovering that he is a devoted reader of this blog, or whatever. But truth is, it was kind of a boring session with not much interesting happening. Sorry.

Guess the casino, #765






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: Jokers Wild

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Guess the casino, #764






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: Flamingo

Sometimes you feel like the nuts, sometimes you don't

It happened twice over the weekend, exactly the same way both times. There was a showdown, one person had suited A-x matching the suit of three of the board cards and winning the pot, followed by an uninvolved player commenting, "Just the nuts."

Problem is, it wasn't the nuts either time. Not even close. In both cases the board was paired.

I remember the first time I ever played poker in a casino. It was at the Luxor, in about 2003, maybe 2004. It was just a stupid daily afternoon tournament, buy-in of about $40. I lasted all of 20 minutes. I went out when I had a flush. I was surprised when I didn't win the hand. The other guy had a full house.

"Well, how was I to know that he could have been that strong there?" I thought. At the time, my knowledge of the game was so crude that I did not understand that a full house was a possibility anytime there was a paired board. (I use this, my own case, as a prime example every time somebody says something about the hand in progress that they think is so obvious that everyone already knows it and so it could not possibly affect the action. You just never know how rudimentary some other player's understanding of the game is, and, therefore, what may or may not help him or confuse him.)

I later worked out on my own that a paired board meant that exactly six different full houses were possible. I drilled myself over and over again until I could spit out, rapid-fire, what they were, in descending order of strength.

When the Hard Rock briefly experimented with the game variant called Royal Hold'em, they didn't have a poker room, and thus had to quickly retrain some blackjack dealers, and they didn't know poker well at all. One time I was sitting there by myself hoping that some fish would come to play, got chatting with the very attractive young woman dealing, found out how shaky her poker knowledge was, and spent the time improving her showdown hand-reading facility. She was deeply impressed with my being able to rattle off all the best possible hands in order. Ya just never know what it will take to pick up women!

Hmm. I seem to have wandered off-topic here.

Anyway, the repeated non-nuts "nuts" this weekend got me to wondering how many possible hands there could be ahead of the nut flush with different types of boards in hold'em. I'm going to take as my slightly silly hypothetical that we're playing at a 22-handed table (thus using the entire deck, after accounting for five board cards and three burn cards).

The easiest scenario is when there are quads on the board. That's easiest because it's not possible for anybody to have a flush, so the question is moot. The same is true if there is a full house on the board.

If there are trips on the board, then obviously one person can have quads, and anybody holding a pocket pair has a flush-beating full house. Suppose the board is Ac-As-Ah-Kh-7h. The nut flush is Qh-Xh. But that poor sap is being beaten not only by somebody holding the last ace, but by anybody holding any pocket pair, and even by anybody holding any K-X hand or any 7-X hand.

In theory, the nut flush could actually be the worst hand among the 22 players at our very large table, given the board listed in the previous paragraph. As just one way of dividing up the deck, let's suppose the three burn cards are all deuces, as is the kicker for the nut flush. We could have three players with K-3, three with Q-3, two with J-J, two with T-T, two with 9-9, two with 8-8, three with 7-4, two with 6-6, and two with 5-5, giving all 21 opponents a hand that beats the nut flush. [Edit: As pointed out in the comments, I made a mistake here. Here's my second attempt: one with A-3 (for quads), three with K-3, one with Q-Q, one with Q-7, two with J-J, two with T-T, two with 9-9, two with 8-8, two with 7-4, two with 6-6, two with 5-5, and one with 4-4, and we've got our 21 hands that beat the nut flush.] If we ignore which cards can be held simultaneously and just rank-order the possible hands, the nut flush is actually the 24th nuts, falling behind 12 different quads hands (A-K down through A-2), and 11 different kinds of full houses (aces full of kings down through aces full of deuces).

But wait, there's more! If I optimize my board to, say, 9h-8h-7h-7c-7s, then the nut flush drops to the theoretical 30th nuts--behind three different ways to make a straight flush, 12 different ways to make quads, and 14 different ways to make a full house (9s full one way, 8s full one way, and 7s full 12 ways).

Suppose the board is double-paired, e.g., Ah-Ad-Kh-Kd-2h. Then there will always be a theoretical minimum of two players who can beat the nut flush--those holding quads. If nobody has quads, then there can be a maximum of five full houses lurking among the opponents (e.g., A-7 times two, K-7 times two, and 2-2).

But we can do better than that. Let's instead made the board 9h-9d-8h-8d-7h. Now the nut flush is Ah-Xh, but it can be beaten not only by up to five boats, but also by any of three different straight flushes, and two of those can exist simultaneously, for a maximum of seven players at once crushing the nut flush (e.g., 9-2, 9-2, 8-2, 8-2, 7-7, Jh-Th, 5h-6h).

Now let's look at the kind of situation that pertained in both of the examples I started this post with. The most ordinary kind of paired board will have one set of quads and six different kinds of full houses available, making the nut flush only the 7th nuts. How many players might simultaneously be sitting on hands better than the nut flush? Five. Suppose the board is Ah-Ad-9h-5h-2c. We can have, e.g., A-9, A-5, 9-9, 5-5, and 2-2 out there. So in our 22-handed game, Mr. Nut Flush can at least have the small comfort of knowing that he will be in no worse than sixth place at showdown.

But again, if we tweak the board to full ridiculousness, such as 9h-8h-7h-6h-6c, the nut flush is the 10th nuts, standing in line behind three different straight flushes (jack-high, 10-high, and 9-high), one set of quads, and six different full houses. How many of these could exist at once? Seven, maximally: two straight flushes, and five full houses. Which means that in this scenario, Mr. Nut Flush might be only eighth-best at the showdown.

Even on an unpaired board, with no quads or boats on the horizon, the nut flush might not be the nuts when a straight flush is possible. Who here has lost a stack to a straight flush while holding the nut flush? (Grump raises his hand.) No more than two players can have a straight flush at once, so at least when the board is unpaired, holding the nut flush means you have at least 19 of your 21 opponents beat, and that's not bad!

All of which is an exceedingly long way of saying this: Not only is it an error to equate "nut flush" with "nuts," but sometimes the two things are a very, very long way apart. As shown above, it's possible for the nut flush to actually be only the 30th-best possible hand for some kinds of boards. If you call "nuts" when there are 29 hands that can beat you, you're due for a serious dope slap.


(What are the chances that I've made it through all of that without having made a mistake at some point?)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

"Most"? Seriously?

Roy Cooke begins his latest column for Card Player magazine (January 26, 2011, vol. 24 #2) with this assertion:

"Most poker books encourage a rigid strategy. Few discuss constantly adapting your play to your opponents' tendencies."

Huh? I've read a good number of poker books, and I can't remember even one of them encouraging use of a rigid strategy. If I had, I think it would have stood out in my mind as so obviously, ridiculously wrong-headed that I would have (1) stopped reading it, and (2) blogged derisively about it right away.

The only possible exception that comes to mind is Kill Phil, but that is explicitly a book for beginners, outlining a strategy (actually, several strategies of varying complexity) by which an amateur can minimize the skill advantage that more experienced players have over him in a no-limit hold'em tournament. Its authors acknowledge that it is not a long-term winning approach to the game, and that readers will need to learn more finesse as they progress.

Even Phil Hellmuth's dated and basic Play Poker Like the Pros describes a few different broad categories of opponents' styles one is likely to encounter, and how one might adjust to play against each.

As a test, I just now pulled out my old (copyright 2000) copy of Poker for Dummies by Richard Harroch and Lou Krieger. In Chapter 2, "Essential Strategic Considerations," I find this on page 34, after description of a semi-bluff that went bad:

"What went wrong?" you ask yourself. "I had the perfect opportunity to
semi-bluff." Perfect, that is, only from the perspective of the cards on the
table and those in your hand. But it was far from perfect if you stopped to
consider your opponents. Your mistake involved considering only the cards while
choosing a strategy. Semi-bluffing doesn't work with players who always call.
You have to show them the best hand to take the money. While there was nothing
you could have done to win that pot, you certainly could have saved a bet on the
river.

Nothing was wrong with the strategy itself. It might have worked if the
cards were the same but your opponents were different. Knowing your opponents is
as important to winning at poker as understanding strategic concepts.

So the most simplified poker strategy book I own or know about, a mere 34 pages in, in the second chapter, is already emphasizing the point that Cooke says "most" poker books do not discuss.

Let's try another sample. This is the 2004 answer to the above publication, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Poker, by the late, great Andy Glazer. He actually gets to it even earlier than Harroch and Krieger did. In Chapter 1, page 7, under the heading, "Poker Is a Card Game and a People Game," Glazer writes:
It is difficult to imagine a game in which context is more important than
it is in poker--where the right decision against Jeff may be the wrong decision
against Phil, or where the right decision against a player who has been winning
for the last 20 minutes would be the wrong decision against someone who has been
losing heavily during that time.

Although many decisions are clear-cut--for example, you would not want to
fold the strongest possible hand in poker, a royal flush--just how you should
bet with your royal flush to maximize the amount you will win isn't at all
clear-cut.

Some players will be intimidatd by an early bet and may drop out; if you're
up against such a player, you're much better off checking and hoping that he
catches some good cards and becomes the aggressor himself. The amount you will
win with this hand can vary dramatically depending on how well you understand
your opponents' tendencies and personalities.

So, again, a book aimed at completely green beginners addresses this point at the earliest opportunity.

I'm completely unable to understand how Cooke could hold this opinion. How many poker books has he read, and how many of them recommended an inflexible strategy, rather than adapting one's play to the table?

Readers, I'm calling on you. If you can recall any poker strategy book that conforms to the description that Cooke says is true of "most" of them, please leave a comment here with the book's title and author, with a page number (and exact quotation, if you feel up to it) where such a recommendation is to be found. My guess is that even with the number of books we have collectively read, we won't come up with any.

A challenge to Mr. Cooke: Can you quote me even one poker strategy book that fits the description you gave for "most" of them? It should be easy, if what you say is true.

I suppose I should add that I happen to enjoy reading Cooke's columns and thinking through the situations he describes. I also adore his rulebook, Rules of Real Poker--it's the best one in print. He is no fool, and it is not my purpose to denounce him as one. This strange assertion is, I think, a rare glitch, but it sure is a whopper.

Guess the casino, #763






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Answer: Wynn

Monday, January 24, 2011

Inducing vertigo and/or nausea

It's bad enough when I tell you about my poker-themed dreams. Now, for just this once, I'm going to tell you about one from last night that had nothing to do with poker--because it's just too funny not to share.

I'm a huge Alfred Hitchcock fan. I've seen "Vertigo" many times, and think it's his greatest achievement. It's also his most psychologically disturbing work (with "Frenzy" a close second). It is not appropriate material for children--not because of any overt sexual or violent content, but because of how Scottie gradually and abusively seizes control over Judy, and bullies her into transforming herself into a doppelganger of his lost love.

So in this dream I am, for some now-forgotten reason, sitting with a few other adults at the back of a first-grade classroom. They're showing the kids "Vertigo." I'm aware that it's a version that has been altered to better suit the sensibilities of youngsters, and I'm not liking the changes.

My frustration with the revisions reaches a peak when we get to the scene in the clothing store, where Scottie keeps rejecting dresses for Judy--ones that she likes--until he finds the one that matches what he remembers Madeleine wearing. But in the toned-down version being shown in class, Judy politely declines to put it on, and, to deal with Scottie's agitation, makes some excuse to leave the shop. As she's walking out, she tells him, "I'll contact you on Facebook."

That was the final straw for me. I said out loud, "Facebook?" The first-grade teacher tried to shush me. I would not be silenced. I said again, "Facebook? In a 1958 movie? That's just too messed up!" And I left.

It's bad enough when they colorize classic black-and-white films. When they start adding anachronistic Internet references to old cinematic masterpieces, they've really gone too far. Even my dreaming subconscious recognizes the outrage of it all.

What's in a screen name? #21





A new episode in the lives of The Micros is up here. There are many spots in which a freeze-frame will provide you additional enjoyment at some of the funny details included, such as this delightful list of screen names.

Guess the casino, #762








To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: Stratosphere

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Guess the casino, #761






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: Rio

Starting a game at Hooters

Yesterday afternoon I ended up at the Hooters poker room around 5:00. I found two dealers and one shift manager sitting at the table twiddling their thumbs. I was a little surprised that they didn't have a game going yet. They had several names on the list. I was told that those players were occasionally checking back in, but they'd see that the tables were empty, and would take off again for their blackjack tables or slot machines.

I decided to plunk myself down in a seat in the hope that it would get at least one of these in-and-outers to stick around, which, in turn, might persuade another of them that the game was about to go, etc. So I did. I even had them sell me chips, in order to enhance the image that we were on the verge of starting.

I had to wait about 40 minutes before the cards started flying (I carry a crossword puzzle to work on for just such time-killing situations), but it was worth it. Once we got started, the other players were, frankly, pretty easy pickings.

The only reason I'm writing this post is to commend the shift manager at Hooters. When I told him that I'd stay put to try to get the other names on the list to join us, he immediately said, "Great. I'll get you clocked in right now."

That hadn't occurred to me as a possibility, probably because nobody has ever offered it to me before, despite the fact that I've played the same "catalyst" role many times in many different rooms. I earned less than a dollar in food comp credit sitting there, but it was something. More important, really, than the monetary value was the gesture; he was saying, in effect, "I recognize that you are helping us get the game going by sticking around instead of going off to do something else and waiting for other people to show up first, and this is our small token of appreciation."

As the great Chip Reese said, "If you don't open the store, how can you get any customers?" I have occasionally had room managers offer to begin rake-free when there are just three or four players, trying to induce them to get the game started. They obviously know that a game in progress is far more likely to attract additional players than the mere promise that a game will be starting some time in the ill-defined future. It seems to me that Hooters has stumbled upon another incentive technique: Offer to start the comps clock on players who actually sit at the table with chips, as that will probably help get the game going more quickly than if you just add another name to the list.

It's such a simple, cheap, effective, and (in retrospect) obvious idea that I have to wonder why nobody else ever does it.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Imperial tales

Oops

Last night at Imperial Palace I inadvertently did something that I had managed to avoid doing in five years of casino poker.

As I often do when playing at IP, I took a break after a couple of hours to get an ice cream cone. With a restroom stop first, I was gone for at least 10 minutes, maybe closer to 15. I returned to the room and sat down, mostly focused on preventing drips and spills. (The ice cream was disappointingly soft and melty, obviously having been kept in an insufficiently cold counter freezer.)

Even before I sat down, I noticed that there had been a dealer change--no surprise, given how long I was gone. I said, "Hi, Matt." He said, "Hi, Grump." (He always calls me that.) Then I noticed that the guy directly across from me was a new player. OK, somebody had left and been replaced while I was gone. No problem. Next I noticed that the guy next to him was different, too. And my bottle of water was missing. And all of the chip stacks at the table were gray ($1), not red ($5).

This was all very disorienting. Just as I was processing why so many things had changed, Matt teasingly asked, "You need some chips?" It was only then that I noticed that my chip stacks were gone, as was my silver dollar card protector.

The conclusion finally hit me just as Matt tried to resolve my puzzlement: "You're at the wrong table."

Indeed I had sat down at the first table past the desk instead of the second one. When I moved to the right table, all was well--the same dealer I had left, the same opponents, my chips and card cap, my water bottle.

This was mildly embarrassing, but there was no harm done. I've seen other people make this mistake before, and always wondered how they could be so dumb. Now I know.

I guess you could say I got the wrong IP address.


No jackpot

I saw somebody flop quad queens, but get no bonus. I checked the list of bonuses on the wall, and it listed only $200 for a royal flush. I've never seen the IP not have high-hand bonuses for quads and straight flushes. I asked the dealer about it, and he said that they had had an accounting error in their jackpot fund, and as a result had to cancel almost all their payouts until they build the reserve back up. Which means that for now they're collecting the jackpot dollar but giving out essentially nothing.

Oh well. It's a minor thing. I just hope it wasn't the same kind of "error" that the folks at Planet Hollywood had with their jackpot money.


Reraise

Here was my best move of the night. After I had been in Seat 1 for a while, somebody I didn't know joined us in Seat 2. He was about as good a player as one ever sees at these limits, playing a very effective, difficult, loose-aggressive style. Among other things, he straddled both UTG and on the button every time, and nearly always exercised his option to raise it.

I was getting a little tired of that, so I determined to limp-reraise one of his straddles whenever I had a half-decent hand. The very next time it was my big blind and he straddled, I found Ah-Kh. Nobody raised before me, so I added an extra $2 to my bet, anticipating that it was a mere down payment. Sure enough, Mr. LAG bumped it up--another $25, his biggest opening raise yet.

Well, apparently several other players had noticed his pattern and were ready to look him up. I was quite surprised when three others called him before the action was back to me, making a $100 pot. It was not enough to pot-commit any of them. I had not originally planned to reraise all-in, but with that much in the pot, it was suddenly worth taking down right then, rather than put in a smaller raise and have to make further decisions from out of position. I thought it was a near certainty that I had the best hand or, at worst, would be racing against a medium pocket pair. So I announced all-in, and moved my last $208 across the line.

One by one, they all folded, and I won a nice pot without a showdown or even seeing a flop. The suited AK made it a pretty easy decision, but I think I would have done the same thing with a wider range than that--any pair about 8s or more, any ace, and any strong king, maybe.


The French connection

We had at the table a man visiting from France. The conversation turned to the state of online poker there. I vaguely remember a while back hearing that France had authorized online poker, but with various restrictions. Here's how our French friend described the situation:

They have lots of choices of online rooms, including Full Tilt, Stars, Party Poker, etc., but they are all segregated from the rest of the world pool. That is, they're playing on, e.g., Pokerstars.fr, not Pokerstars.com. People from anywhere in the world can, in theory, join the games, but few actually do, because the sites have to collect a 6% tax (capped at 3 Euros) in addition to the rake.

Our visitor said that the situation sucks, because there are, obviously, a lot fewer players per site than there were previously, so they have fewer choices in cash games, and essentially no tournaments with big prize pools.

It was my first indirect foretaste of what online poker might become if the whole things gets balkanized, as it is threatening to do. If the U.S. gets separated from the rest of the world (as required, at least for a while, under the Reid bill), it would be bad, though not as bad as in France, since we have a large enough group of players to be workable. But if we start having individual states broken out into their own player pools, it's just going to completely suck.

There are lots of kinds of services that, in order to be useful, have to have large numbers of people using them--telephones, fax machines, and, in the Internet age, things like Facebook and Twitter. Online poker is among them. Sites with small player pools tend to shrivel up and die, because players don't find games going and turn elsewhere. Conversely, the most popular sites become more popular, because there's lots going on and players find what they're looking for and tell their friends. It's a rich-get-richer sort of thing. (See Bill Rini's perceptive post, "Why Smaller Poker Operators Should Shut Their Doors Right Now.")

It's just not going to work to have states run isolated player pools--even the most populous states, such as California, don't have enough people to make for really good poker sites with a wide variety of offerings. We can hope that states would be smart enough to authorize reciprocal or collective arrangements, as they do with lotteries, but I wouldn't count on it.


Playing with Mr. Magoo

In the first 30 minutes at my table, I saw one player twice, twice, call off his entire stack--at least $200 each time--after misreading his hand and/or the board. Both times he thought he had a straight, and even announced it as such, but the first time had just one pair and the second time nothing at all. Seeing it happen once is odd enough, but two times in less than half an hour? Truly bizarre. He was not drunk, as far as I could tell.

Maybe casinos should offer vision tests while you play, in addition to massages.

Guess the casino, #760






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: Orleans

Friday, January 21, 2011

I might have to go see this place

http://www.lasvegasweekly.com/blogs/luxe-life/2011/jan/20/photos-michael-dezer-bringing-hot-rod-city-museum-/

Guess the casino, #759






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: Imperial Palace

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Lawsuit of the year (so far)

Oh, sure, you've seen the video clip of the idiotic woman walking into the mall fountain while texting on her phone. You may have even heard that she is now threatening to sue the mall's security team for not rushing to pull her out.

But though it was a noble effort, she does not top the lawsuit chutzpah charts this week. That award belongs right here in Las Vegas. You gotta read this, just for the sheer can't-believe-it quality: http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2011/jan/20/las-vegas-tourist-seeks-refund-after-tragic-sex-ac/

Guess the casino, #758






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: Caesars Palace

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Poker gems, #407

John Vorhaus, in Card Player magazine column, January 12, 2011 (vol. 24, #1), p. 62.


There are no good hands. There are no bad hands. There are only the hands that we have. We don't deserve pocket aces. We don't deserve 7-2 offsuit. We don't deserve anything other than exactly the two cards that we're dealt, and exactly the attendant opportunity to make the right choice.

Poker gems, #406

John Vorhaus, in Card Player magazine column, January 12, 2011 (vol. 24, #1), p. 62.


Or, let's say that you're the one with the aces.... You raise, of course, yet somehow manage to attract three callers. Now, the flop comes 8-7-6 in suit, and all hell breaks loose. The action goes bet, raise, reraise, and now it's on you. How good are your aces now? Good for nothing, right? Not exactly. They're still good for a good decision, a handsome laydown.

That's the chance that you have, the one that you always have--the chance to make a good decision, without expectation, without resentment, and without ego. Can you do that?

Guess the casino, #757






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: Venetian

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Cashing out from Doyle's Room

This morning I saw a Tweet from @GamingCounsel: "RT @: Rumours abound that Doyle's Room may be leaving the Cake Poker Network. "

The article lists several signs that Doyle's Room is going to be leaving Cake. I found it quite persuasive. I decided to cash out what money I had there. I'm not really worried about the money vanishing. I'm willing to assume that if DR changes to a new network, they'll move the accounts over. If DR decides to just close up shop, I'm willing to assume that they'll transfer the accounts to some other Cake skin or offer cashouts.

My reasons for deciding to pull out were: (1) If DR moves to any other network where I can play and would want to play, it will duplicate some other account, because I already have an account on every U.S.-facing poker network. (2) I signed up for Doyle's Room directly, not through an affiliate, which means that I've never been getting rakeback from them. If I'm going to continue on Cake, I might as well get something back for it, and the apparent coming announcement that the skin I'm using is leaving the network is a prime opportunity to make such a change.

I checked the DR cashier, and found that I have $168.11 sitting there. Fine. Let's see how to take it out. (I've never cashed out from DR before.) The cashier page lists three options: Check, eWalletXpress, and UseMyWallet.

It tells me that a check is not available; they'll do this only for amounts over $500.

I don't have an account at eWalletXpress, and can't set one up now, because they recently pulled out of the U.S. market, following a seizure of funds. I don't have an account at UseMyWallet, and really didn't want the hassle (and further exposure of personal and financial information) of setting one up just for a one-time withdrawal.

So I emailed DR support:

I would like to withdraw all of the money in my account ($168.11). However, when
I tried to do it through the online cashier, it said that $500 was the minimum
for getting a check. It gave two e-wallet options. However, EwalletXpress, as
you know, is no longer operating in the U.S., so I can't set up an account
there. The other e-wallet service is one that I do not have an account with, and
I do not wish to set up an account just for this one-time withdrawal. I just
want a check mailed to me. How can we make that happen?

Here's the response:
Thank you for your email.
I am really sorry however the $500 limit is
imposed on us by our check processor and we will not be able to send you a
check for less than the stated amount.
I sincerely apologize for any
inconvenience caused.
Please let us know if we can be of further
assistance
Kind Regards,
Alec
DoylesRoom Support

Ruh-roh. This isn't looking good. I explored the only option left. But usemywallet.com doesn't even let you in unless you're already a customer with an account; i.e., it's not just an open site that anybody can access and establish an account with. The DR cashier page says:
UseMyWallet is one of the quickest and most secure methods for players to
withdraw funds from their account. UseMyWallet enables players to use a number
of various online banking solutions to withdraw funds from their account. These
funds may then be wired directly from your UseMyWallet supported account into
your own bank account. To see if your account qualifies, please contact support@doylesroom.com. There is
minimum withdrawal limit of $50 and there are no maximum withdrawal limits.

Another email to DR:
The cashout instructions say to contact you to find out if my account
qualifies to use the UseMyWallet option. Does it? If so, how do I set up an
account with them? Their web page gives no instructions, and apparently doesn’t
let anybody in who doesn’t already have an account.

The reply:
Thank you for your email. I'm afraid at present UseMyWallet account
invitations would only be open to those players who meet criteria laid down by
UseMyWallet. As soon as your account meets these criteria our Cashier team
will forward an invitation, please be informed that the criteria is a
stipulation of UseMyWallet and I'm afraid we're not permitted to discuss these
criteria with players. We apologize for not being able to help you further at
this time and thanks in advance for your patience.
Please let us know if we
can be of further assistance
Kind Regards,
Alec
DoylesRoom
Support

Oh boy. This is starting to get both annoying and alarming. Are they running a scam such that I won't be able to withdraw the funds by any method? I was starting to plan how I would pepper various poker forums with my warnings and complaints about how DR was refusing to let me cash out.

But I try one more email:
Your cashier page gives me just three options for cashing out:
ewalletxpress, usemywallet, and check. I don’t have an ewalletxpress account,
and cannot set one up now, because they recently stopped accepting U.S.
customers. You’re telling me that I don’t qualify for a usemywallet account. And
in your first email, you told me you won’t send me a check. So each of the only
three options you are telling me about is unavailable, for one reason or
another.

How do I get my money?

The reply (and, to their credit, they have responded within just a few minutes every time):
Thank you for your email. I have forwarded your email to our Cashier
department who will be in contact. However I would ask you to bear in mind that
due to the nature of the inquiries they deal with our Cashier department’s
response may not be as quick as our front line support. Thanks in advance for
your patience.
Please let us know if we can be of further assistance
Kind
Regards,
Alec
DoylesRoom Support

A short time later, I received this:
You now have been pre-registered for a QuickTender account.

All you need to do is activate your account by clicking the link
below and completing the required additional sign-up information.

QuickTender has been created in response to the recent withdrawals
of a number of wallet payment solutions that you may have previously used.
QuickTender is owned and operated by an experienced team of payment
professionals who are well known and trusted with all the major merchants in the
industry.

QuickTender is one of the safest ways to pay and play
and will facilitate all your purchases and withdrawals quickly, securely and
privately.

As an additional privacy protection measure you
will not see QuickTender openly advertised at the merchant site. Instead
wherever you see the UseMyWallet logo below you will be able to deposit with
your QuickTender account.

Instructions followed. I'm not entirely clear on the relationship between UseMyWallet and QuickTender, but they're either partners or different names for the same basic entity.

Of course, I'd like to know why DR support first told me that my account was not eligible to use UMW, then later decided that I could use it. But I'm not going to press that issue now.

I went through the enrollment steps for UMW/QT, got an account number, then plugged that in to the withdrawal request on DR.

Now I sit back and wait to see if it actually works. Anybody want to make bets on whether I get the money without further headaches?

Guess the casino, #756






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: South Point

Monday, January 17, 2011

Folding 20:1 pot odds



Would you ever fold if you had a strong hand, were getting 20:1 on a call, and were guaranteed not to have to put any more money in? Saw a guy do it yesterday.

I was playing at Mandalay Bay. It was a weird table, in terms of action. A typical pre-flop hand was either an early-position opening raise, called by anywhere from three to eight players, or a bunch of limping, then a late-position raise, and all the limpers calling. We were commonly seeing flops with five to eight players, each having put in $12-18. But three-bets were scarce as hen's teeth. I can't remember the last time I saw a table with such a recurring pattern. It was weird.

(An even stranger coincidence is that my friend Jon Katkin had, just the day before, prophetically Tweeted this: "I both love & hate tables where players limp for $2 and then call a $15 raise." I understood exactly what he meant. Making hands was profitable, but shaking people off after missing was an exercise in futility.)

In the hand in question, I joined the chorus of limpers from middle position with Ah-4h. The player to my left raised to $16. I was going to fold, but then he got called in four other spots before the action was back to me. I did the typical donkey thing, throwing in the extra money while muttering to myself, "Pot odds." The pot stood at about $92 after the rake.

So six of us saw the flop of Ks-8h-9h. Nothin' but a flush draw for me. It was checked to the original raiser, who put in $25. Too much for me, I thought. But then only one other player dropped out; four called. Quick math showed $92 + $100 = $192 in the pot, $25 to call, more than 7:1. Even with no additional implied odds, that made it a decent call to see one more card. I felt like I was getting sucked in little by little, like matter from a star being pulled off by a nearby black hole. But I called anyway, hoping that I wouldn't hit the event horizon and get torn apart. Pot now at $217.

The turn was the 7h. Nice! With that many people in, I had a little anxiety about being up against a straight flush, but I decided that that was just one of those things I'd have to write off if it happened. With no pair on the board, I'm not folding the nut flush.

First guy to act bet $75. It was folded to me. I moved all in for my last $94. Original raiser folded with a heavy sigh. The only one still with cards was the guy who bet $75. With his bet and mine included, the pot was at about $386. He had to call just $19 more to match my all-in. There was nobody left who could raise it more, and there could be no more betting on the river. It was a pure pot-odds situation with no future to worry about, and he was being offered just over 20:1 on the call.

I assumed it would be automatic for him. I'm not sure I've ever folded a hand when getting 20:1 with no more money to be put in, unless maybe I was on a stone-cold bluff and had zero chance of winning. This guy, though, said, "I wanted the 7, but not in hearts." He then flashed his black J-10 (nut straight), and mucked it.

I only rarely show my cards when winning without a showdown, but under the circumstances I was sufficiently impressed with his fold that I decided to reward him by removing whatever minuscule doubt may have remained in his mind about what I had--though given the fold, he was obviously extremely confident about what he was up against. He just nodded grimly.

I question the wisdom of his $75 bet, given that with that many players calling on that flop it was highly likely that at least one of them had a flush draw that had just arrived, leaving him drawing dead.

But after that is done, I think you have to admire him for finding the fold. I'm sure I would have thought, "Hey, maybe the guy flopped a set and he's now just hoping against hope that my $75 bet isn't a flush or a straight, or at least he's praying to pair the board. Or maybe he has somethig like two pair and a flush draw. He probably just made a flush, but I think those other possibilities add up to at least one time in 20. I just can't pass up a nearly $400 pot for a measly $19."

His fold said, in essence, "I'm more than 95% sure that you just made a flush and I now absolutely cannot win." He had been playing with me for a couple of hours, so he likely had recognized that I wasn't throwing my money in lightly. Still, I don't think I'd get myself to that level of confidence. I'd make the crying call and curse my bad luck. He, on the other hand, got to keep $19 that I would have lost. Tip o' the hat to him for seeing clearly what the situation was and not acting out of a sense of either frustration or resignation.

What's in a screen name? #20





Good one. Needs a better matching avatar, though.

Another poker dream

I was at the Golden Nugget, but the poker room had been completely revamped. It looked like somebody's basement rec room, done in a decor that might be called "trashy casual." There was only one game going, and it was being dealt by the players, not by a casino dealer. The cards were bent and torn and stained, as in a really bad home game.

I watched the game for a minute and couldn't figure out what they were doing. I asked what kind of poker this was, and one guy answered, "Crazy Tight." I said I had never heard of that, and he responded, "Nobody has." I asked how it's played, and he just said, "We play to the best jack," then returned to his cards, and gave me the distinct impression he didn't want to answer any more questions.

I was left to surmise that it meant that any hand with a jack in it beat any hand without a jack. That is, if two players at showdown each has a jack, then hand strengths are compared normally: flush beats straight, etc. Same is true for comparing two hands neither of which has a jack. But any old terrible hand that has a jack (e.g., Qd-Jh-8c-5c-4s) beats even the best hand lacking a jack (a 10-high straight flush). Now that I'm awake and thinking about it, it occurs to me that you could extend the concept: Any hand with two jacks in it (e.g., Jc-Jh-Kd-6c-5c) beats even the best hand with only one jack (a royal flush), analogous to how even the smallest two-pair hand beats the best one-pair hand. Any hand with three jacks (or, obviously, four) would be an automatic winner.

In my dream I couldn't figure out the strange playing format, but looking back on it now, I think that this game might play better as stud than as a flop game. (Or maybe triple draw?) If so, the hand you'd really want to be dealt is (J-J)-x, and you really wouldn't care much what your up card was, because you could lose only to another player with the other two jacks, which would be a rare occurrence. (This is assuming you used the two-jack variant described above.) At the same time, nobody would know that you had the J-J concealed, and anybody with a good single-jack hand (straight or flush) would cap the betting with you, if the rest of your board came uncoordinated. Still, it would probably work as just a variant of hold'em, if your poker group doesn't cotton to non-flop games.

I've given this only a few minutes of consideration, but I'm thinking this is actually a pretty workable poker variant for a home game--unlike most of the other slightly demented versions that my sleeping subconscious has invented before. The main thing wrong with it is the name, which is just stupid. I'm not good at coming up with clever titles, but the first decent alternative that occurs to me is this: "You Don't Have Jack." Or maybe, "Jack Be Nimble."

Somebody want to try it at their next poker night? Or ask the Golden Nugget if they really spread this?

Guess the casino, #755






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: Monte Carlo

Sunday, January 16, 2011

They rig live poker in the Caribbean, obviously

See: http://troyohlsson.posterous.com/ut-oh-looks-like-a-blog-post-pca-final-table

Guess the casino, #754






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: Trick question! It's not a casino. It's not even in Vegas. It's a sidewalk outside a theater in Washington, D.C. You thought it was MGM, didn't you?

Saturday, January 15, 2011

"Donkey Greedy, Donkey Gets Punched"

I just read a short story by that title, by Steve Almond. It's in Best American Short Stories of 2010, which you should be able to find at any library.

It's an interesting tale about a difficult relationship between a poker-playing psychiatrist and his patient, a professional poker player. The patient might be based on somebody real; he's egotistical, trash-talking, lives in the San Francisco area, a past WSOP winner, who has his own line of poker-themed clothes, and who is married to a psychiatrist. Sound like anybody you can think of?

The tension in the therapeutic relationship spills over onto the green felt, predictably. I'll leave it at that.

Unlike many poker-themed short stories, this one does not betray an author's underlying ignorance of the game by misuse of terminology or unrealistic situations or reactions. I do have to ding it, though, for messing up the cards in the dramatic showdown hand: a king of diamonds on the flop suddenly has become the king of hearts by the turn (though that doesn't affect how the hand plays out). The title, by the way, is the pro player's motto, his reminder to himself not to try to play too fancy.

The story is less than 20 pages long, a fast read, and worth the effort next time you're in a library.

Guess the casino, #753






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: Hooters

Friday, January 14, 2011

Coupla hands

I just finished a HORSE tourney a just out of the money (sigh--another 2 1/2 hours down the drain). But I did have these two moderately amusing hands along the way.

Here the money was all in on 4th street:



Yessirree, that's a gen-u-wine 2-outer there.

This one is pretty self-explanatory:



Where's my high-hand jackpot?

Guess the casino, #752






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: M Resort

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Multi-entry tournaments

You have likely read this week about the debut of Full Tilt Poker's newest feature, multi-entry tournaments. The basic idea is that you can enter a tournament with multiple seats, either all at once when you sign up, or add other seats whenever you like during the late-registration period, up to whatever the maximum number allowed is. You will never play at a table against yourself; your stacks are shuffled between tables as needed to prevent this. When the number of entries you still have alive exceeds the number of tables available, your two shortest stacks are merged into one, and if that happens in the money, the shortest stack is declared to have been knocked out, and you collect the prize money for that spot.

As with most online poker innovations, I wanted to give it a try. This afternoon I found one that was only $2.20 per entry, with a maximum of four entries allowed. I decided that fit within my budget.

Here's how the tournament lobby looks just before starting:



My first problem was fitting four tables on my laptop screen. Once that was done, my biggest challenge was just keeping up with four tables. I've never done more than three before, and even that was only for a very brief time. It kept me busy enough that I'm sure my play was suboptimal, since I had almost no attention left over to watch players' tendencies (it suddenly becomes clear why people invest in Poker Tracker or similar software), and when I was busy with one or two tables, I would tend to fold on a third one rather than trying an aggressive move that I otherwise might have. As a time-saver, I also pre-folded many times in late position based on having lousy cards, rather than stick around and watch to see if the action folded or limped to me, meaning that I undoubtedly passed up some chances to steal the blinds. I'm sure one can get used to this level of activity and do it more smoothly and competently than I did, but I'm not there yet.

Other than the mechanical/attentional challenge of keeping up with everything, it played just as it would if you happened to be playing four separate tournaments at a time, except that it was a little easier because the blinds were the same in all four places, which meant that I didn't have to keep recalculating the size of a standard opening raise, nor continually be refiguring how many big blinds I had left.

There were 2134 entrants. It looked to me as though the great majority of players took all four spots at sign-up, though I saw a smattering of names listed just once or twice. I wish the tournament lobby listed how many unique players were in, as well as the total number of seats occupied. My entries finished in 1699, 1303, 1021, and 365 place, with the top 234 (I think) paying, so I never got to see a merge take place. There were no remarkable hands worth reporting.

I did manage to capture this unusual moment, however--two tables with the same three cards on the flop at the same time:




Rigged, obviously.

The multi-entry format was mildly fun and interesting to try, but I'm not going to make a regular habit of it. First, my success rate is much higher on Bodog and the Cake network than on FTP, so my NLHE tournament play will stay concentrated on those sites. Second, I still prefer to keep no more than two tables going at once. Third, I just don't see that there is any meaningful advantage in doing one of these as opposed to playing in separate tournaments. (There may be a theoretical disadvantage. As has been noted in various forum posts, if you play four different tournaments, you can win all four; with four seats in a multi-entry, you can only win one.)

But it was worth trying once to see how it works, and so that I can say that I did it.

Guess the casino, #751






To reveal the hidden answer, use your mouse to highlight the space immediately after the word "Answer" below.




Answer: Boulder Station

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Just a little ranting about gun control in the news



Warning: No poker content.

Since about 1998, I have spent an inordinate amount of time on the subject of gun control--reading about it, writing about it, discussing it, lobbying for or against legislative proposals, etc. I'm particularly interested in empirical evidence about what can actually be shown to be effective or ineffective at reducing crime, and the results often--usually, in fact--turn out to be other than what one might expect.

The subject comes up now, obviously, because of the most recent mass shooting, this time in Tucson, Arizona. As predictably as the sun rising, politicians who hate having guns in our society (well, except in the hands of government officials, of course--such people always want to disarm only ordinary citizens) have responded with a flurry of gun-control proposals, some of them new, most of them taken down off of the dusty shelf, where they have been sitting, waiting for just such an opportunity.

Here's the basic problem: It's hard to make it more illegal than it already is to shoot a member of Congress through the head, to execute a federal judge, to murder a 9-year-old girl and several others, and to wound another dozen or so people by shooting indiscriminately into a mass of people. I mean, I suppose you could add a provision that the assailant be boiled in oil or drawn and quartered instead of just executing him in the usual ways, or maybe put his severed head on a pike as a warning to would-be copycats. Other than that, there just isn't any room for raising any higher the criminal penalties for this kind of behavior.

The despicable Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik clearly implied, soon after the events of Saturday, that part of the blame lies with Arizona's liberal concealed-carry laws. "I have never been a proponent of letting everybody in this state carry weapons under any circumstances that they want, and that's almost where we are." (Quoted here. See video clips of his statements here.) In order to accept such a causal connection, you'd have to accept this premise: That if it had been against the law for Jared Lee Loughner to have been carrying a concealed pistol, the whole calamity would have been averted. Apparently this moronic sheriff thinks that Loughner would have thought along these lines: "Oh, I am SO ready to go kill that Gabrielle Giffords and whoever else might be hanging around near her! And I'd do it, too, if not for that pesky law that makes it a misdemeanor for me to carry a gun in public! Curses--foiled again!"

(It's hard not to lapse into sarcasm when the position you're responding to is so patently ridiculous on its face. It's kind of like what I remember reading about Stanley Kubrick: He originally intended to make a serious film about "mutually-assured destruction" as our national nuclear arms policy, but found it so absurd that there was no way to take on the subject seriously, so instead he ended up making "Dr. Strangelove.")

Just as idiotic is Rep. Peter King's call for a federal law that would make it illegal to knowingly carry a gun within 1000 feet of a member of Congress or other highly-placed governmental officials. Once again, it's hard to figure out how he can be so stupid as to think that such a law would have prevented anything last week. If one is willing--eager, even--to commit mass murder, one more statute making illegal a preparatory step to that ultimate act is simply not going to work as a deterrent.

I understand the reflexive reaction that we collectively ought to do something to prevent this kind of horrible tragedy. But when you start sifting through and critically analyzing proposals, nothing really seems both possible and plausible.

I mean, you could propose repealing the Second Amendment, but why bother? There has never been a time since the Bill of Rights was enacted when you could get 2/3 of both houses of Congress and 3/4 of the states to agree to such a thing, and I can't imagine getting anywhere close to that now. It's a non-starter, dead on arrival. Tilt at that particular windmill if you want, but you'll just break off your lance.

How about a ban on handguns? Well, first, you again run headlong into that niggling little Second Amendment problem. In 2008 the Supreme Court squarely ruled that a ban on handguns is unconstitutional. You may disagree with that decision, you may hate it, but there it is, and, unless the Court chooses to reverse itself later, there's nothing that can be done about it short of a constitutional amendment overriding it--which just isn't going to happen, politically.

Even if it did, you have the problem of millions upon millions of handguns already being in circulation. You can deal with that by excluding from your ban those already lawfully owned, in which case you won't see any meaningful drop in the number of handguns in circulation for many decades, since well-maintained firearms last longer than people do. Alternatively, you could take the harder route and make it illegal to own the ones already in possession. But do you seriously think that people will just hand them over if told to? Some will, sure, but if you think you'd round up even half of them that way, you don't understand Americans very well.

Rep. Carolyn McCarthy sees this as yet another opportunity to try to institute a ban on magazines holding more than 10 rounds of ammunition. (Actually, in interviews with her that I've seen, she usually says she wants to ban "clips" that hold more than ten rounds. But a "clip" and a "magazine" are two different things. Glocks do not use clips, nor do any other semi-automatic handguns that I've ever seen. Somebody who doesn't understand the difference between a clip and a magazine is too ignorant of the subject to be proposing federal laws about it.) This is based on the fact that Loughner is reported to have used one of Glock's 33-round magazines in his model 19. Let me list the problems with this dumb idea.

1. Above is a photo (taken from here without permission) of this magazine. The pistol shown is a Glock 26, which is slightly smaller than the Glock 19, but you get the general idea. It's terribly unwieldy. I happen to own one of those magazines. It works in either of my two 9mm Glocks, but I use it only rarely because it's clumsy and heavy, and is more prone to jamming than regular magazines. (Indeed, though news reports are murky on the exact details, it seems that his magazine misfeeding a round was what stopped the shooting long enough for people to jump on Loughner.) My bedside pistol is a 9mm Glock model 34 with a 19-round magazine--much more manageable. I wonder how Loughner carried that thing, because it would be really difficult to carry concealed in any of the usual kinds of holsters. My point is that magazines like this are virtually never carried by either law-abiding citizens or by criminals. I've been paying attention to gun crime matters for more than ten years, and I can't remember another case of somebody using a pistol with this kind of magazine on it in a crime spree.

2. McCarthy's idea is that when a mass shooter has to stop to reload, that's an opportunity for him to be stopped. It's certainly true that points of reload have, in a couple of high-profile cases, been when a bystander has taken the initiative to intervene in a public shooting. But that's only because the shooters have been inexperienced. Want to see how long it takes to reload a handgun with practice? Watch this YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJVoc5uJ2e4 That's Travis Tomasie, whom most of you won't have heard of, but he's one of the best competitive handgun shooters in the world. I've seen him shoot in competition; in fact, I've been the range officer (safety official) for him at least once that I can remember, and so was watching him from about two feet away. He really is that fast. Yes, his superb proficiency comes from many, many hours of practice. But reloading quickly is not a complex skill, and it doesn't take very long to get it to less than about two seconds between the last shot of one magazine and the first shot of the next. Laws that depend for their effective operation on criminals being incompetent with their chosen equipment can't be more than marginally effective under the best of circumstances.

3. The United States had a ban on the manufacture and import of magazines of more than 10 rounds between 1994 and 2004. Did crime soar after the ban ended? No. It continued to decline, despite moronic "the sky is falling" predictions by Dianne Feinstein, John Kerry, Sarah Brady, and others of their gun-hating ilk. This is really not at all surprising. The vast majority of uses of guns by both criminals and by law-abiding citizens in defensive situations involve only brandishing the gun, not actually firing it. The minority that do progress to shooting, either offensively or defensively, usually extend to no more than a few shots fired over the course of a few seconds. There is only rarely either time or need for a reload. The proposed ban is sort of like legislating a 100-mph governor on all vehicles under the theory that this will limit the speed of bank robbers' getaway cars and make them easier to catch. It's just ludicrous, and out of touch with the reality of how guns are actually used in real-world situations.

4. The ten-year ban had originally caught manufacturers off guard. Literally the day it ended, manufacturers set their factories to working around the clock to produce an enormous stock of full-capacity magazines, so that if such a ban were ever enacted again, they could ride it out for a long time without losing business to competitors who still had such magazines available for sale. (Pre-existing normal-capacity magazines could still be freely sold.) Similarly, gun enthusiasts learned their lesson and have now bought many more than they thought they would need, just in case such a ban comes around again. Smart speculators had bought large supplies of the magazines before the 1994 law went into effect, and profited handsomely as relative scarcity set in and prices went up. Whatever the effect on crime may have been when the ban went into effect (I don't know of any empirical evidence that it did any good, and doubt that there is any), there would be even less if it were ever repeated, because now the supply of full-capacity magazines is much greater than it was before. Theoretically, you could make it a crime to continue to own such items (and some gun control proponents are pushing for exactly that), but politically it is extremely difficult to criminalize possession of something that is currently legal to own, especially when there are tens of millions of the objects in question, owned by millions of people. Americans don't take kindly to being made criminals by inaction.

Finally, there are vague assertions made by any number of politicians and pundits with access to a microphone about making it harder for mentally unstable people like Loughner to buy a gun.

Well, that's fine in theory, but how are you going to actually write and enforce such a law? We do not deprive people of their constitutional rights lightly in this country--and I hope we'd all agree that that is a very, very good thing. The standard now is that one must have been adjudicated as mentally incompetent or involuntarily committed to a mental institution. That's a high standard, to be sure, but it needs to be. What objective standard less than that would you propose? Do you want to have entered into a governmental database and permanently banned from exercise of constitutional rights everybody who has, e.g., filled a prescription for Prozac or Xanax? Everybody who a neighbor has thought might be a little loony? Everybody who has been to a psychiatrist's office? So far I have not seen any legislative proposals that would specify what lower standard would be used for this purpose, but surely you can see that anything lower than the current threshold is going to sweep up many more unthreatening, law-abiding citizens than dangerously unstable ones.

I am opposed on general principle to legislative proposals that can reliably be predicted to achieve nothing useful, that have no empirical data supporting their claims for what they will accomplish, that are enacted only because they satisfy an irrational emotional need to "do something," that will infringe on law-abiding citizens' rights with no compensatory social benefits, and/or that are unconstitutional or politically unworkable. Every gun-control proposal I have seen or heard about in the past five days has fallen afoul of one or more of these problems.

The President of the United States may be the best-guarded person on the planet, but we still have occasional nutters like Lee Harvey Oswald, Lynette Fromme, Sara Jane Moore, and John Hinckley who either succeed or come very close to succeeding in their efforts at assassination. In an open society awash in firearms, these things are going to happen from time to time. We collectively decided a long, long time ago that we're not going to have a gun-free society, nor are we going to lock people up for being crazy, short of demonstrable threat to themselves or others. Once those two decisions are locked into place, there's not a heck of a lot that can be done to prevent the intersection of mental illness and guns from causing occasional horrific events such as Saturday's.

It's terribly sad when some nutjob's craziness is manifested in such a gruesome, public way. But that doesn't mean that we should rush to enact new, ill-considered, ineffective laws in the vain hope that we can prevent such tragedies in the future.


************

I have one other gun-related response to this news story. I read this story in Slate about a guy named Joe Zamudio, who was legally carrying a concealed handgun near the site of the shooting. He rushed from the store to the scene when he heard the commotion. In the process, he came close to shooting the guy who had taken the gun away from Loughner:

""I came out of that store, I clicked the safety off, and I was ready," he explained on Fox and Friends. "I had my hand on my gun. I had it in my jacket pocket here. And I came around the corner like this." Zamudio demonstrated how his shooting hand was wrapped around the weapon, poised to draw and fire."

He says later in the interview that he has had no professional training in firearms. I could have guessed that. First, it's terribly dangerous to take off the safety while the gun is still in your pocket. Just like the rule about not putting your finger on the trigger until the gun is on target, so it is with the safety: It is not to be disengaged until you are on target and ready to shoot.

More importantly, though, his story perfectly illustrates why it's usually a big mistake to play the hero, rushing into a situation where you don't need to be, and which you don't understand. You run the terrible risk of mistaking the good guys for the bad guys, and being mistaken by others for the bad guy.

Had Zamudio gotten professional training, he would have known these two basic facts and avoided his mistakes. Some are calling him a hero. I consider him a fool. Well-intentioned, no doubt, but foolish just the same.

WBCOOP 2011

Online Poker

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker! The WBCOOP is a free online Poker tournament open to all Bloggers, so register on WBCOOP to play.

Registration code: XXXXXX 482279

Guess the casino, #750






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Answer: Aria

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

MGM finally sees the light

It seems that MGM is finally going to try to make their player rewards program competitive with that of Harrah's/Caesars:

http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2011/jan/06/you-could-pick-music/

'Bout time, dudes. Just don't leave the poker players out of the goodies, please.

New blog

Noah Stephens-Davidowitz has started a poker blog. His first post--about things that do and do not hurt the online "poker economy"--is so cogent and thoughtful that it makes me look forward to reading more of what he has to say:

http://www.nsdpoker.com/2011/01/the-poker-economy/

Guess the casino, #749






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Answer: Tuscany

Monday, January 10, 2011

Home again





I'm home from my belated holiday visit to the Utah family. Had a very nice time, including 11 of us for a big dinner last night, followed by a mass visit to my mom at her nursing home. The only photos I took were of people that none of you know. They mean a lot to me, but I won't bore you with them.

My rental car was a Hyundai Elantra, pictured above. It was completely average in just about every possible way: color, looks, size, comfort, performance, etc. But it performed the required task (getting me to SLC and back without problems and without inflicting suffering on me) just fine. The only glitch was that the windshield washer lines froze up and wouldn't function when I needed them to, returning to life only after I got back to warmer Nevada. The Elantra managed a respectable 33.4 mpg for the trip, not at all bad for a car of its size (i.e., not a micro-speck). Above all, it was not, repeat NOT, a Smart Car. The Fox rental car company did its usual fine job of providing me with no nasty surprises, extra charges, long waits, or lousy service. (My experiences with rental car companies has been so uniformly awful that an absence of bad things happening is my highest prasie.)

The car's best feature was XM/Sirius radio, which I didn't even know I had until I was on my way. For much of the route between Vegas and Salt Lake, it's sparsely populated territory, with the only radio choices being country music, preachers, and Rush Limbaugh. Even with those, you have to search for new stations frequently because the mountains keep changing what reception you get. Satellite radio fixes all of that: 200+ channels to pick from, all crystal-clear all the time. I had brought along a bunch of CDs in anticipation of the usual dearth of externally supplied entertainment, but ended up not playing them. Instead, I bounced among opera, other classical music, a Broadway music channel, NPR, oldies, and Howard Stern. If I spent more time in the car than I do, I would definitely invest in this system. Now I'm going to feel deprived whenever I rent a car that doesn't have it.

On my way home, I stopped in Beaver at the Cache Valley Cheese factory outlet. My mother grew up in Cache Valley (northern Utah), and one of her brothers spent his career working for the cheese factory--so in addition to the general reputation for excellence that Cache Valley Cheese has in Utah, there has always been a sense in the family that nothing else could ever be quite as good. When I was little, summers almost always meant a cross-country drive to see family in the West, with a large supply of Cache Valley cheese brought back home. Today I continued that tradition, sort of: I bought 9 1/2 pounds of cheese, divided among six different varieties. That included--to my great delight--the "Smoki" version, which I remember absolutely loving when I was a kid, but which I haven't tasted in at least 35 years. I'm curious to see if I'll like it as much as I remember I used to.

I have a couple of days of catching up to do in terms of reading, correspondence, errands, cleaning up, etc., after which things should revert to regular rhythms around here.

Guess the casino, #748






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Answer: Mirage

Sunday, January 09, 2011

Guess the casino, #747






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Answer: Harrah's

At least he's educably retarded




Since the last time I saw him play the Mighty Deuce-Four on TV, Tom Dwan has clearly picked up some pointers--here forcing Phil Ivey to fold. (A 5 was coming on the river, obviously.)