Crap underfoot

What the hell is wrong with poker players?

OK, well, the only answer to that is "a lot." But today I'm talking specifically about leaving junk under the poker table. Poker players are pigs--no two ways about it. It seems to have become accepted that the area under the poker table is a wastebasket. If you've never looked under there, take my advice and don't. It's an ugly sight.

You take your chips in a rack to the table and unload them. Is it really too much trouble to take the rack back to the counter (or cage)? You could even put it on an adjacent table that's not in use, where it will easily be spotted and picked up by somebody running chips for another player before too long. But for God's sake, don't put it under the table. They accumulate there, and take up the foot space for the next guy that's going to sit in that seat. And, BTW, do you think that there's a chip-rack fairy that magically transports them back to some central location after you leave? No, you moron--when you drop it there, you ensure that somebody--whether another player who wants to reclaim an uncluttered bit of floor space for his feet, or an employee of the casino--will have to crawl under there and pick it up, because you were too damn lazy.

The same thing goes for all the other crap you're tossing under there: cups and glasses, candy-bar wrappers, losing sports-bet receipts, magazines, and all the other miscellaneous trash. How in the hell did you come to conclude that the floor under the poker table is a garbage-disposal area? The very worst, I think, are the cups with your chewing-tobacco spit in them. Thanks a lot for leaving that for me to kick over accidentally, you no-class, inbred peabrain.

How I would hate to visit the homes of some of the pigs I have to share poker-table space with....