Palms, earlier this evening. I'm stuck in a $2-4 limit game waiting for a no-limit seat to open up. I've only been there maybe five minutes when I have Q-8 on a flop of K-8-2 and decide to get stubborn and call down the guy who is taking the lead. I hit a lucky Q on the river to make a winning two pair.
As the dealer is starting to push me the pot, the guy on my left smacks the side of my left thigh and exclaims with a broad smile, "I would have split that with you!"
It frequently occurs in my life that people say things to me for which I can think of no reply that is simultaneously meaningful, civil, and honest. This was one of those occasions. I can't say something like, "Wow, that's really interesting," because it isn't even a little bit interesting. Why in the world would I care what he threw away? What I'd really like to say is more along the lines of "What makes you think I give a rat's ass?" But that would kind of get us off on the wrong foot, and I don't need more enemies in this world. So, as usual, I'm stuck saying absolutely nothing, because I can't think of a single thing to say that wouldn't fill me with self-loathing for having joined his level of airheadedness.
He notices my silence, and says, "You're not a talking poker player?"
Crap. Now I'm really stuck, in the social sense. I can't continue to just clam up without causing the same iciness that would result from me telling him how idiotic I think he's being. So I said, "It's not that, it's just that I couldn't think of any response that would mean anything. That's just how poker is sometimes."
It seemed to mollify him--perhaps too much, because he became the source of a litany of inane comments about the hands he wish he had played, bad-beat stories, asking me to speculate on what some other player had, asking whether he played a hand right, etc.
Dude, really, can you just shut the &%*$* up until you think of something interesting/original/substantive to say? I guess that's asking way too much of some people.
I think I will never catch on to this thing you humanoids call "small talk."
Sunday, March 23, 2008
"I would have split that with you!"
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3 comments:
whne someone says "I would have won" or "I would have split that" I like to say
"Well then I guess I outplayed you there"
I usually respond with something like 'See, that just shows that you have to play your Q-8 (or whatever hand) like its the nuts. Bet or raise every street (in a limit game) or get it all in (in a no-limit game).'. That usually comes off as amusing, if not funny, and they realize that what they said was stupid.
-Redright88
I probably hear that at least 10 times each session. I usually reply in a joking voice, "You're playing too tight." I've never had the same person say to me more than twice with that response. Then some new guy sits next and says...
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