Thursday, July 03, 2008

The Toothpick People redux




Back in April I groused about The Toothpick People, guys who sit at the poker table sucking/chewing on toothpicks. It's stupid and makes the person doing it look stupid.

Even worse, though, is doing it on national television. Look at this bespectacled moron, Brett Faustman, who was on the World Poker Tour last week. (I'm just getting around to watching it now.) He chewed on his pointy little pacifier through the whole final table.

I think that when he was preparing for his television debut, he thought, "How can I show the world what a country bumpkin Southern redneck hick backwoods hillbilly inbred half-wit imbecile I am? [Light bulb clicks on over his head.] I know! I'll chew on a toothpick! Everybody recognizes that as a symbol of pure good ol' boy idiocy!"

And whaddaya know--it worked. It projected exactly the image he was shooting for. Next best thing to growing out a mullet.

Congratulations, you dweeb.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Perhaps Full Tilt and PokerStars didn't approach him for an endorsement deal. Instead, a toothpick company thought this would be a good opportunity for them to get exposure and possibly get more people to take up the habit of chewing toothpicks.

At least now I know if I'm ever playing at a poker table with you, I could possibly put you on tilt just by chewing a toothpick ;-)

Wine Guy said...

I agree with the "redneck" look it gives the good ol' boys.

My real beef is with the gum chewers. Most look like they are cows out in the pasture..Why, oh why, won't some television producer advise these people that it is less than flattering to be lip smackin', gum chewing when the camera zooms in?