Monday, March 16, 2009

Another IMOP report

Last year I got a kick out of the allvegaspoker.com "Iron Man of Poker" trip report of a bunch of degenerates from Iowa. I had met them briefly during a tournament at TI. This year they were back, and there is now another wacky trip report posted here and here (including not-to-be-missed photographs). Again worth reading for the sheer entertainment value.

Example:

Grange also got in one last sarcastic comment before heading out. He gets
it all-in with a middle-aged lady who turns over her cards, sees she is behind,
and blurts out, “Help me Jesus!” The river is harmless and Grange, while raking
the pot, says, “Jesus must have been busy at the pot limit Omaha game.” The
Church Lady makes a very un-Christian face and storms out of the room.

I managed to get a little more face time in with the boys this year, including a session at Mandalay Bay with Grange (a faithful reader and commenter) the night before the rest of the crew arrived, another at Planet Hollywood the next day, and sharing a TI tournament table with Grange and Barbie (and, briefly, a cash game after bustout) the last night of the trip. Guess I didn't make enough of an impression to worm my way into the story, though. I'm not sure whether to be deeply offended or profoundly relieved.

The gang's approach to poker is well and truly insane, but there is no more fun to be had at the table than by sharing it with them. Go read.

3 comments:

dbcooper said...

The trip report at allvegas was one of the best I have read. Made me laugh and sounded like a great time was had by all.

Anonymous said...

This is priceless:

Grange stayed and ground some 2/5 at Bellagio. He got some laughs from the table with his paint-splotched t-shirt that read, “I Just Killed a Clown”. One of the amused players stopped laughing 30 minutes later as Grange played 52s against his AA … and flopped a straight! Suddenly-not-so-amused guy stood up, threw his cards at Grange, and stormed away after blurting out, “You ARE a f*cking clown!”

Grange95 said...

Grump, it was a pleasure seeing you again and getting in a few sessions with you. For your readers, I just want to say that AVPer Santa Claus (primary author of the report) and I are regular readers of this blog; some of the best poker writing out there. Also, it was an honor to see the Master of the Deuce-Four in action. I have to admit, with Grump at the table, I tread carefully around flops which hit the deuce-four. However, my favorite newly adopted hand of the trip was AcKc because, as I learned from a blog link on this site, "crubs always get there". And so they do!

But, to respond to your complaint:

"Guess I didn't make enough of an impression to worm my way into the story, though. I'm not sure whether to be deeply offended or profoundly relieved."

the simple answer is that you were 86'd from the official report because, during our cash game session at PHo, you forced me to look at the enormously fat guy sitting sideways on his chair so you could point out that his zipper was down! Serious poker foul there, Grump! That image is only now fading from my retinas ...

If you want to be included in next year's report, you will need to buy us a round of mojitos, and do a jaeger-bomb. Also, it would help if you could work yourself into one of these more marketable character categories: a) foreigner, b) amusing drunk, c) obnoxious Internet punk, d) quasi-Nazi / neo-fascist, e) table bully / blowhard, and/or f) poker yahoo (ala' "the Sherminator" from our 2007 report, also available in the AVP archives). Bonus points if you have a funny accent, "huge tracts of land", bad hair, or outrageous clothes. To be blunt, being a quiet, smart, domestic grinder just doesn't cut it in today's increasingly competitive global poker trip report economy.

Of course, if you do something outrageous enough to get yourself 86'd from a casino while with our group, I can guarantee you at least a short paragraph. Not that you'd ever find yourself in that situation ... But think of the cross-marketing potential!

P.S. Thanks for excerpting my favorite poker snark of the trip. Like you, I am annoyed by the suggestion that a supreme deity is concerned about the outcome of a particular sporting event or hand of poker. Plus, even Jesus gets rivered in PLO.