Saturday, March 15, 2008

They also serve who only sit and wait?




Most of the time that I'm in a poker room, there is within my field of vision at least one person who is just sitting close by a poker player, waiting, doing nothing, often for hours at a time.

This puzzles me. Don't these people have anything better to be doing? It's not like they're getting any quality time with their partner; the partner is paying attention to the game, and very little to the person waiting. Nor is the person waiting actively engaged in observing the game. Three or four times I've had friends or family members curious about this odd job of mine come to watch me play for 30 to 60 minutes, just to see what the life is like. They look at my hole cards with me and try to follow the action. That I understand--but that's clearly not what's going on with the couples that I'm talking about. No, with them it's just passing time in apparent boredom. And in the rooms that I frequent, it's often the same players and partners enduring these death watches, over and over and over again.

It's a mystery to me.

Why not go do something else? Why not bring a book to read, if you know you're going to be waiting that long? Why not go home or go to a movie, and meet back in the poker room at a pre-arranged time?

I will add two demographic observations here, and leave the cultural significance of them as a private exercise for the reader. First, as far as I can recall, I have never seen a male waiting for a female in this manner; it is always the reverse. Second, the great majority of these long-term sitters, and those for whom they are waiting, are Asian--I mean in the neighborhood of perhaps 90% of such couples, grossly disproportionate to their numbers as players.

What does that mean? I don't know.


(For those who don't catch the reference in the title of this post, see http://www.bartleby.com/59/6/theyalsoserv.html.)

4 comments:

genomeboy said...

I think it is largely a cultural phenomenon, centered around loyalty, subservience and family.

It seems similar to the fact that the parents of many of my asian colleagues, (Chinese in particular)will leave China and come to the states to care for their grandchildren full time so their kids can work and avoid using day care.

Anonymous said...

Rake - Amazingly, I saw the exact OPPOSITE of this after we played at TI on Saturday night. Grange and I wound up at IP and lo and behold a white female was playing while a white male was patiently sitting behind her.

Every other time has been exactly as you describe, funny the exception happens on the same day you wrote this!

Santa

Anonymous said...

I don't think it cultural. When I've seen it around Sacramento, its almost never Asians.

Cardgrrl said...

Like you, I am utterly baffled by the phenomenon of the clearly non-poker-playing 'sweater.' I can't understand why anyone would want to do that, or how they could stand the tedium. If I didn't know how to play poker, I'd rather watch paint dry.

I have to wonder at the relationship dynamic at work in these situations. Do these couples spend so little leisure time together that the best they can manage is to have one of them twiddle his/her thumbs while the other does something interesting and fun? I can't imagine how sitting around in such a circumstance would be emotionally satisfying for either partner.