Sunday, June 05, 2011

World-class rant

It's Jesse May, on the astonishing incompetence of the Full Tilt Poker PR team.

Key excerpt:
Just take the case of British Petroleum, as an example. BP faded a six billion dollar lawsuit, the wrath of Greenpeace and the US government, the extinction of half of the planet’s ocean wildlife and one of the largest disasters in the history of the universe. They didn’t wait six weeks to release a statement. They didn’t tell the public that they had no idea how they were going to stop the oil. What they did do, and wait for this one, they did the only sensible thing in the circumstances… They BLUFFED!! How is it possible that a poker company, supposedly endorsed and run by the finest poker minds that have ever been produced, couldn’t run a simple bluff for six weeks while they figured out what the hell they were going to do. It’s not rocket science. Smile a few times in public, pay out a couple of the five dollar accounts, let everybody else know the checks are in the mail, grab a photo op next to the Statue of Liberty, send your sponsored pros out on the talk show circuit, villianize the US attorney and run a freaking two barrel bluff like any poker player who’s only just learned the game and is playing 1-2 Hold’em at the Excalibur. How is it possible that these great minds couldn’t just keep a poker face for six damn weeks? How is it possible that at the first sign of opposition they folded, ran, and tried to see if any casino was still cashing Bellagio chips? It’s only a few indictments and a couple of hundred million dollars in frozen assets. If businesses couldn’t bluff their way out of these spots, there’d be no America in the first place.

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