"I am SO drunk!" (Non-grumpy content)

I'm just not feeling the inspiration to come up with an original rant, so I'm again going to the well of the stories I wrote to a friend back home last year, when I was just getting started in Vegas poker. This was written at 7:05 a.m., September 26, 2006, after an all-night session at the Hilton.

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The easiest read of an opponent ever: I have 9-9 on the button. I raise. One caller. Flop is a 10 and two small cards. He bets, so I think he has a 10 and I'm behind. But he's a pretty unskilled player, and extremely drunk, so I think maybe I can steal the pot from him. I put in a sizable raise. He calls. Damn.

Turn card is a blank. He checks, so now I think maybe he was just on a draw and won't pay to see another card, or maybe he does have a 10 but with a bad kicker that he won't want to spend more money on, or maybe I can convince him I have a pocket pair bigger than 10s. So I bet. He calls again. DAMN!

River is another 10--just awful. Now I think he has trip 10s to my measly pair of 9s, and I'm ready to throw the hand away and take my lumps. The guy leans forward to look closely at the board (he's drunk enough that he's having a hard time focusing), then picks up his hole cards, looks hard at them, gets a horrible scowl, and says, "Oh, damn! I am SO drunk! I thought I had a 10, and I don't! God, I'm so stupid! I can't bet at this. I check."

He is NOT acting. He really is way too drunk to be making this up as an act. I put out $40, and he instantly folds.

Sometimes, one doesn't have to be Doyle Brunson to figure out how to win.