Poker vs. church

I'm not trying to get a whole trend of church-bashing posts going here, but I was trying to think of a snappy punchline for the previous entry, and the following sort of evolved in my brain:

The top ten reasons why putting money into the pot at a poker table is better than putting it into the collection plate at church:

10. You don't have to waste an hour listening to a sermon before getting your money in the pot.
9. You don't have to wait a week before doing it again.
8. No risk of the checks in the pot bouncing.
7. In a good poker room, food service is more than a sip of wine and a tasteless little wafer.
6. Even if you lose the pot, you can be pretty sure the money won't be going to pay the salary of an authority-abusing pedophile.
5. Noisily shuffling your change before dropping it in the collection plate is frowned upon.
4. You don't earn comp dollars for every hour you're sitting in a pew.
3. No valet parking at your average church.
2. After they collect all the money, ain't no preacher gonna be pushing you that collection plate back to keep.

And the number one reason that putting money into the pot at a poker table is better than putting it into the collection plate at church:

1. Nobody suggests that you're going to hell if you decide not to put money in this time around.