You really can't believe how badly they play

I'm thinking about entering the HORSE event at the Binion's Classic tomorrow. Hearing this, Cardgrrl, during our nearly-daily Skype video call, suggested that we do a play-money HORSE sit-and-go on PokerStars. Y'know, for, like, good practice. OK!

From having done this once before, we already knew that the quality of play would be about a thousand times worse than what we used to see in the $5 and $10 games we frequently did together, which was already laughable. But even after being prepared for it, we just couldn't get over what we were seeing.

Here are some examples.

In this first hand, the action was driven by the guy who ended up with tens full. Cardgrrl was obviously correct to call with her strong full house, and ended up taking the pot. But look at what other hands called two bets on the river. On a board with both quads and a royal flush possible, Cardgrrl bet, and a raise by Pol Arky was called by one player with a non-nut flush, one with a straight, and, most astonishingly, by one with a pair of 8s! That's a 53.5 big-bet pot there. (My cards are showing, but after leading out betting I folded to a raise and reraise on the flop.)

Here I raised to two big bets on the river with the nut low. Cardgrrl was still in the hand at the time, so I figured that even if I got quartered I would break even, having put in only one-fourth of the chips. When that raise got called in two spots, she reluctantly folded her AAxx, assuming that somebody must have a full house, a straight, or at least trip 7s. Nope. In addition to having the nut low all to myself, my top/top took the high, which was as much a surprise to me as it was to her. (It's possible that she uttered a naughty word when the hands were revealed. I'm not saying.) 31 big bets in that one.

Here's my final example. This other guy and I got into a raising war starting. With top set on the flop and top boat on the turn, I was happy to keep throwing as many chips into the pot as he would match. I expected to see K-Q or Q-8 at the showdown. Nope. Another 18 big bets my way.

Predictably, Cardgrrl and I finished in the top two spots, just like last time.

Now if only my opponents tomorrow are this clueless, next time you hear from me I'll have made a nice score!