Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line

I've tried to make nice with Josie. I really have. But I seem to always end up in her doghouse, no matter what I do. Here's what she wrote about me this morning:

Do you want the bad news or the worse news? Let's start with the bad, shall we? I was Gigli for The Booze Cruise last night. Nice 2 table field, but I had the unfortunate luck of having Poker Grump at my table. (No, grumpy you aren't getting a link because I'm too mad at you)

This was 10 mixed games, mostly limit and although I did cash in this last week, my goal was to last till 9:30, 20 minutes. I did not meet my goal. For some reason Poker Grump gets under my skin and I just don't play well against him. I either fold the best hand or call with the worst. Rinse, repeat. Argh!! I feel this way about NO OTHER PLAYER. WTF! Believe me, he ain't that good. lol It's me, not him. I think it's because he pwned me at the WPBT in Vegas. I still have images in my head of him grinning when he trampled me with a big 10-7 off suit preflop. This dude owes me dinner, or a kidney.
Do you want to see what she's talking about? Of course you do. Here are the first seven hands of the tournament, which is how long Josie lasted. It took less than six minutes in real time, but you can watch it faster than that. Only the first two involve me:

Now here's the kicker. The ONLY reason I played that tourney last night was because she ASKED me to. She had made a couple of mistakes in her previous post, due to writing in the middle of the night. I pointed them out, and she thanked me, saying, "You are getting closer and closer to being forgiven. If you play The Booze Cruise tonight...." So I did.

Was it MY fault that I ended up at her table, and to her right? No. Was it MY fault that on the first hand I flopped top pair and it turned into trips? No. Was it MY fault that she called me down with bottom pair/no kicker? No. Was it MY fault that she decided to play K-7 on the second hand, and, in addition, to just limp with it instead of pushing me out with a raise on her button? No. Was it MY fault that I flopped two pair? No. Was it MY fault that she called me down with one pair, with possible straights and flushes on the board, when I had bet and raised at every chance after the flop? No. In short, is it MY fault that she gave me exactly half of her starting stack in the first two hands of the tournament? No.

In the chat box, I wrote, "Josie thinks I'm bluffing every hand." She responded, "I do." Is THAT my fault?

So, to recap: I show up for the tourney only because Josie had told me that doing so would get me closer to being in her good graces, I play utterly straightforward A-B-C poker, and the result is that she calls me "Bastard" in a comment to my daily "Guess" post, and says that I owe her. (Now it's dinner or a kidney. Previously it was a silk scarf.)

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I submit that I have been wrongly, unfairly maligned here. (I'm practicing for my jury duty next month.)


matt tag said...

she's right about one thing - she doesn't play well with you at the table. ouch.

HighOnPoker said...

I wouldn't take it too seriously. I think she's half-kidding. I mean, she's serious about not being able to beat you, but she is probably not serious about blaming you or that you owe her one. I think its pretty much tongue-in-cheek humor.

Heffmike said...

I believe she's just channeling her inner Nicky Santoro about not being able to lose... :-)\

Josie said...

Matt, you are right, as is Jordan.

If I'm calling you names, that means I like you. If you get silence, that's the time to worry.

Grumpy, like most attorneys has presented us with real evidence, but has omitted vital facts. (typical really)

For instance he says he was playing ABC poker. That's true. Yet he omits that in the past when playing against me he'd been playing anything BUT abc poker.

He has also omitted the fact that I do not know how to play these games nor do I not pretend to know how to do so.

Blah - There are other discrepencies but since I like you, I'll leave it at that.

Oh and I'd much rather have a silk scarf than a kidney that's never had to deal with alcohol. :P

Poker said...

Thanks for sharing your poker experiences. Great to see that you have been into mix games. That´s good for the action and learning curve!

lightning36 said...

Joe C badmouths regularly. He would be polishing your knob ... uh ... apple ... if you had a vote in Survive Donkey Island.

I will soon be publishing an essay: "How to Get Along with Joe C." However, finding source material has been difficult. : o )

BWoP said...

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I submit that I have been wrongly, unfairly maligned here. (I'm practicing for my jury duty next month.)

I hate to break it to you, but juries listen to evidence / arguments, they don't present them.


Rakewell said...

Harumph! That's not how *I* intend to have it work!

Wolfshead said...

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I submit that I have been wrongly, unfairly maligned here.

And your point is?

This is VJ we're tsalking about. Keep it up and you'll wind up in the Trophies of the Vanquished case

Wolfshead said...

Wait a minute, she bet in to you on that one hand with a 2-4 on the board? She deserved to lose everything she had.